Recently we’ve had our share of challenges to work through. They have not been challenges to our relationship, but rather life’s occurrences we faced together. It had us both thinking about some of the basic underlying principles that help us to be with each other, go through such things, and not become separated or estranged from one another.
It feels like we are two players on the same team. Yet even players on the same team can squabble or worse. The relay runner may complain about the fumbled handover. A bridge-playing wife shot and killed her husband over a misplayed hand. These people are failing to realize they are on the same side, and energy expended internally does not help the cause.
We both agree that one of the core understandings that we have, one that is never questioned or shaken by anything that occurs, is that we KNOW we are on the same side. No matter what differences may occur, or challenges we may face, this knowledge buoys us up and carries us through anything.
In a relationship, always remember that you are on the same side #relationships #quote Click To TweetIf we find we are approaching things differently, or not immediately finding our way to understanding each other, we always know this is just a misunderstanding. We know that we will find agreement eventually. We use Our Process to find mutual solutions, but what enables us to do that, and to rest assured that we will find mutuality, is this underlying knowledge that we are on the same side.
This is something we affirmed for each other in the very early stages of our relationship. It is something that permeates our togetherness; that rock solid knowing that we are a team, we are there for each other, we both want the best for each other. We always try to bear this in mind. If we ever get close to being snippy with each other, remembering that we’re on the same side is the guaranteed way to stop it immediately. No matter how different our individual approaches to something may be, we are on the same side in all that is real and of value.
This kind of knowing strengthens a relationship and makes all things possible. It is an important aspect of every relationship. This is something that should be communicated directly and can never be communicated too often.
If you find yourselves estranged or at what feels like odds in your partnership, go back to this basic understanding. Speak it to each other. Find new ways to reiterate it to each other and to show it to each other. Of course, for all of this to work, you must communicate with each other. Open your heart and honestly share your feelings, even your doubts. And at the same time reiterate your choice and your desire to be there for each other.
Whether you are in a relatively new relationship, or well within a longer-term one, the same applies. It is never too late to go back to this basic area and reaffirm it to each other. Affirm that if things appear otherwise, you will look for mutual solutions and come from the basic knowledge that you are partners in the truest sense; you are on the same side!