Successful Relationships Reading Corner

In this week’s blog, we talked about how being defended stops you from being close in your relationships. Here are some other voices on this topic.

How to Stop Being Defensive in Relationships “Romantic relationships consist of highs and lows. To make a relationship work, both partners need to put in the effort. In this process, arguments can happen. But there are some things to keep in mind while arguing. One of the main things that can hamper a romantic relationship is defensiveness. Can becoming extremely defensive help you communicate with your partner? No. When you’re being defensive, it is hampering the quality of communication with your partner.”

Here’s What To Do If Your Partner Always Gets Defensive ” I would argue that defensiveness is one of the biggest troublemakers in relationships, as at least a quarter of the work I do with couples is to help them learn to hear one another instead of simply responding. Many of us struggle with being open to complaints, protests, or concerns, quick to shield ourselves with the armor of defensiveness rather than address the issue at hand.”

What Is Defensiveness and How It Becomes A Vicious Cycle “Defensiveness often results from an attempt to protect oneself against perceived threats. When this happens, people tend to become rigidly set in their opinions and beliefs and refuse to see the other person’s point of view. They often turn things around and blame the other person for how they’re feeling or become critical of themselves. A person can become defensive because of a fear of rejection, abandonment, humiliation, or failure. Defensiveness can sneak up on you without our realizing it until it has already entrenched in your relationships and done its damage.”

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