Successful Relationships Reading Corner
This week, we wrote about how to replace blame with honesty in your relationships. Here are some of our previous posts on honesty.
How Honesty Leads to Trust in Your Relationships “A relationship that is grounded in the experience of peace is a powerful support for your growth and well-being. It is so far removed from the fears and blockages that interfere with your happiness and ability to actualize your potential that it seems almost magical. It feels both extraordinary and absolutely natural. It seems to require no effort to relate in that space, to feel the sense of the connection; to feel the other person and know where to meet them. There is a strong pull in that direction. Peace is very attractive, and peaceful connections are fulfilling and alluring.”
How Total Honesty Makes For Harmonious Relationships “Total honesty is a major part of a harmonious relationship. Holding back in the sense of not presenting yourself totally means that you are not quite yourself when you’re with the other person. That produces a force that makes you want to be away from the relationship and find 100% of yourself again, even if you don’t act on it. Everybody has that need, even if it is buried deeply. To be in a relationship with total honesty is to be free of needing to scratch that itch. That might sound scary and risky. Are you going to be criticized or thought less of? At first, that’s a distinct possibility; you have to reveal yourself progressively to see what happens. Not everybody wants or can handle honesty. You have to get to know their attitudes and level of acceptance.”
Why is Total Honesty Important in Your Relationship? “One aspect is clear. In order to practice total honesty in your relationship, you need to feel safe and secure. What are we referring to when we refer to total honesty? Let’s first clear up some of the things it is NOT. It is not spewing forth the total contents of your mind at your partner. It is not an accusation fest, where you settle blame for what you are feeling on your partner. It’s not sharing a long list of what your partner should do and can change to make you happy in the relationship. Total honesty arises from working on yourself. You have to know yourself in order to share that with your mate. It starts by recognizing that what you’re feeling is about you and should not to be projected on the other person. You must come to understand that resolving conflicts is not about changing the other person, but rather looking at what the resistance on your side is about. The more information you glean about yourself, and what you are feeling and why, the closer you will come to being able to communicate with total honesty.”