Successful Relationships Reading Corner
This week, we wrote about how to cut out snippiness in your relationships. We’ve written a number of posts on the issue of irritations between people and how to deal with them.
Too Snippy in Your Relationship? Cut it Out! “Being snippy. Does it serve a purpose? Is it what we really want to communicate? Is it how we want to treat our loved ones, or be treated? Most likely, we would all answer no to the questions posed. And yet, not only does this behavior continue, but we tend to do it most often in our most intimate relationships.”
How Tone of Voice Creates Peace in Your Relationships “There are so many seemingly little things that go into creating peaceful relationships. One of those is tone of voice. Be aware of yours when you are communicating. Is it snippy or even snarky? Is it communicating what you want it to? What effect does it have on the person with whom you are interacting? Peaceful relationships can come down to whether or not you speak with respect, love, and kindness in your tone of voice and basic attitude. This kind of communication creates an environment of calm, openness, and comfort. Neither of us is attracted to dissonance in our relationship. As a result, we try not to speak with a tone of denigration or disregard. Often when people do this, they are just reacting from old patterns or responding hastily without noticing the feeling that this kind of tone conveys. This kind of behavior leads to many of the problems people have.”
How to Stop Irritation Poisoning Your Relationship “Feeling irritated with your partner or friend? Such a little thing, but is it? It can often be the pea that prevents the princess from sleeping. We had an exchange yesterday over several things that caused Phil to be irritated and respond in a snippy, rejecting manner. He didn’t seem himself, and so I asked what was up, and that created an opening for him to share what he was experiencing. I was taken by surprise at his view of what had transpired, as I had a totally different version of events. This was a perfect opportunity to sort things out using a version of Our Process to discuss this experience. Neither of us is interested in being or remaining at odds, so an occurrence of this nature often offers us an opportunity to grow closer, rather than further apart. This is because we don’t carry these experiences around. We address them and figure out what is going on. I never feel attacked by what Phil shares. He is open enough and trusting enough to let me know what he is feeling and thinking.”