Successful Relationships Reading Corner
This week, we wrote that connection is the heart of peace-filled relationships. Here are some posts we have previously written on connection within relationships.
A True Connection Between People Brings Peace and Joy “So, I didn’t recognize what you described to me in those terms, but I did have an experience that was different, and so I now know what it was coming from. It was just that everything felt softer. I think that’s because there was more connecting, as you described it. And that’s how we come together, because what I was feeling was the experience of when you really connect with another person, when what you’re doing together, and when you’re relating, is truly connecting. So, by you being responsive when I approached you, by giving me your attention, and not feeling resentful, or as though you were being interrupted—those were your words—what I experienced was something softer, like a gentleness, and a feeling of goodness. That sense was coming from the fact that there was more connection going on; noticeably more, although I didn’t think of it that way. I just thought this is very nice; this feels soft and gentle and connected. I didn’t feel disconnected before, but I’m talking about the actual experience of connection. Having nothing to do with any sense of disconnection.”
It’s Important to Feel the Connection in Your Relationships “A cautionary word for relationships: Pay attention, be alert, stay aware of the experience of your connection. All too often, people become so used to the contact and connection in their relationships that they start to take them for granted. You presume upon that sacred gift. You stop really noticing the experience of that connection; how it makes you feel, why you treasure it, why it’s so important. The less you are aware of it, the less you nurture it and the thinner that connection becomes. Yes, there are memories of the importance, yes, there is fondness and love for what has been. But the actual experience can begin to fade.”
Why the Essence of Connection in Your Relationships is Being Present “One of the elements that permeates our relationship is that when we are together we are present with each other. We are not only there in the physical sense, but also mentally and emotionally. I’ve been thinking about how important it is to practice presence in all relating, and how this gets lost so very often in the way people interact with each other. What does this feel like when it is there and when it is missing? I have a good friend who seems almost to have disappeared from view. When we are together, I do not feel she is actually there. She seems to be on her way somewhere else: mentally, emotionally, and even physically a bit. The flavor of my friend is still there, but the feeling of her essence being present with me, with “us”, is not. I mention “us” because this is an important component of presence in relationship. When I sit here on the couch discussing the blog topic and content with Phil, we are both acutely involved in this moment. We are here with each other and also with the “we”, the “us” as well. As we have been doing this for decades, the mutual self is quite recognizable and is present along with each of our individual selves.”