Successful Relationships Reading Corner
This week, we wrote about why peaceful relationships require being undefended. Here are some posts we’ve written around this theme.
The Art of Undefended Love — How to Create Truly Peaceful Relationships “One contribution to ease is that we turn up undefended. That needs trust, and trust needs time, but once that is established, why not be fully open? For me, there is often a small wall to jump over, a relic of the past, but—thank you, Maude—it works out every time.”
How Acceptance is the Best Path to a Peaceful Relationship “A shared behavior of total acceptance has miraculous properties. It creates a feeling of safety and undefendedness. It allows you to grow and keep exploring and sharing yourself. It engenders a lightness of interaction and freedom of being that is the very definition of peace and harmony.”
How Being Defended Stops You From Being Close in Your Relationships “But reactions like this arise from being defended, from feeling that you have some vulnerability that has to be protected. If you can take an undefended attitude, much of this melts away and becomes part of the exchange between you. The complement of being undefended lies in total acceptance of the other person – that’s just how they are, and all the responses are yours to deal with. This allows the other person to be completely undefended in turn, because they are not going to be criticized or corrected. Total acceptance and being undefended go hand in hand. Talk to your partner about this, and shake on it.”