Successful Relationships Reading Corner
This week, we wrote about how communicating from your true self deepens your relationships. Here are some of our other posts on different aspects of this topic.
Why Knowing Your Values is so Important for all Your Relationships “I’ve been thinking a lot about my deep relationships with friends, family, and my partner, Phil. What makes those relationships so full of support for my own personal growth, comfort, wisdom, laughter, and relaxation? What brings me the most peace from those interactions? One of the most important elements is the sharing of values, core values. Those are the values from which I make my life choices and guide my path forward. This ability to verbalize what your values are creates new opportunities in your relationships. As you look at and come to know what is of most meaning to you, it opens up a wonderful possibility for communication. Approaching this kind of exchange with a loved one can be rich and enable all kinds of new channels of understanding. It can be sweet and tender when approached as a chance for more open connections. So much of what is exchanged between people is about the day-to-day events and travails of one’s life. That is important and has its place, but sharing about what your values are and what another person means to you from that perspective can transcend the concerns of everyday life and elevate your connection immensely. I have recently had this experience with one of my children, which gave both of us great joy. I try to communicate a bit of this to each and every one of my dear ones.”
Why Is Your Truth So Important In Relationships? “For me, truth is a living, moving, growing experience, and it applies to what is going on inside me. Truth is not fact. Truth is dynamic, personal, and meaningful. My truth speaks of my personal values. When something occurs that is of meaning within a relationship with a friend, relative, or partner, it is important to me to stop and go inside to reflect on what I am feeling or thinking. The pause between my reaction and my response is a rich period for me to explore what my truth is in the given situation. I have a series of questions I put to myself, including what is going on here? What do I feel, and why is it meaningful to me? What do I want to convey to the person I’m relating to? Is there something of value for the person I am addressing that I can communicate?”
Why Peaceful Relationships Start With This One Radical Choice “This is a way of being in peace that you have found within yourself, and from that place, you are able to recognize the same place in the other person. Once you have found it within yourself, bring it into how you are in that relationship. When you do this consistently, it allows it to come forth in the other person as well. This kind of being together doesn’t work when one person is self-absorbed or withdrawn within themselves. Open communication is a prerequisite. You have to be able to bring a certain level of interest in another being: one that involves inner work and a developed consciousness that creates in you a fearless state of being present. You are able to be quietly there with your whole self, offering that presence to the other person. For those who choose to walk this path of peace, this core value will reside in both of you, even if it is not fully developed yet. The dance of learning how to live that within your relationship is a beautiful one; full of surprises, calm, gentleness, openness, and trust. It is freeing and precious.”