Successful Relationships Reading Corner
This week, we wrote about why being friends is such an important part of your relationships. Here are some articles from others on how vital friendship is to relationships.
Friendship: The Most Important Ingredient in a Relationship “One relationship psychologist, Dr. Gottman, said that ‘long-term vitality and connection is maintained through moments of intentional friendship.’ And research shows that this couldn’t be more true! Couples who have a strong friendship with one another are more likely to enjoy each other’s company, respect each other’s ideas, and be more forgiving of each other’s mistakes. They know so much about each other, and they still accept the other for who they are. It doesn’t matter if the friendship is formed before or after the romantic relationship begins. But it is incredibly common for romance to blossom from friendship. In fact, it’s estimated that roughly 40% of couples were friends before evolving into a romantic relationship.”
Building a Meaningful Friendship with Your Partner “Friendship love refers to a bond of affection and companionship toward another person based on dimensions of camaraderie, such as shared interests or similar ideals. It’s the love you have for another person when romantic feelings aren’t a factor (even if they’re present). Though friendship love is sometimes used interchangeably with “platonic” love, Lynn Zakeri, a licensed clinical social worker from Chicago, explained the two aren’t exactly identical. Zakeri said, “There are many similarities between friendship and platonic love.” She further explained that friendship love can coexist with romantic love and not be separated from it. In other words, friendship love can be a part of romantic love, but platonic love refers specifically to non-romantic relationships.”
The science of why friendships keep us healthy “Psychological research from around the world shows that having social connections is one of the most reliable predictors of a long, healthy, and satisfying life. A review of 38 studies found that adult friendships, especially high-quality ones that provide social support and companionship, significantly predict well-being and can protect against mental health issues such as depression and anxiety—and those benefits persist across the life span (Pezirkianidis, C., et al., Frontiers in Psychology, Vol. 14, 2023; Blieszner, R., et al., Innovation in Aging, Vol. 3, No. 1, 2019). People with no friends or poor-quality friendships are twice as likely to die prematurely, according to Holt-Lunstad’s meta-analysis of more than 308,000 people—a risk factor even greater than the effects of smoking 20 cigarettes per day (PLOS Medicine, Vol. 7, No. 7, 2010). ‘In the face of life’s challenges, having a close friend to turn to seems to be a buffer or protective factor against some of the negative outcomes we might otherwise see,’ said Catherine Bagwell, PhD, a professor of psychology at Davidson College in North Carolina.”