Successful Relationships Reading Corner
This week, we wrote that a true connection between people brings peace and joy. Here are some earlier blogs that cover the same issue.
Peaceful Relationships Really Do Exist: Make Yours One Of Them “Phil has a favorite quote “Optimism is a political act.” In the same way, knowing that peace is possible and that it exists, and can exist, not only within yourself but between people, is a powerful tool for facing the realities of today’s conflicts and challenges. Once you experience peace, and know it exists, keep moving in that direction and share it with all who you come in contact with. Speak it often; insist on it. You can change the world by bringing peace into each relationship you have.”
Why It’s Important to Speak Your Feelings in Relationships “At the same time, he also shared that he had been very self-focused for a bunch of weeks and that as a result, he felt he was not giving me, or the relationship, the attention we deserved. This pronouncement had a strong effect on me. I had indeed been feeling his lack of availability and presence. I knew what he was involved in, so I was comfortable to a degree with what was happening, although it was not a way of being together that I would want to go on for any length of time. As Phil put his experience into words, I felt any distance that was there disappear. It made me aware of how important it is to speak feelings in relationships. Yet, it is also important to wait and not speak hastily. If you say something too soon, before it has coalesced, it may be too full of ambiguity and confusion, and a general lack of clarity. If you wait too long, the other person might start to make things up about your behavior.”
It’s Important to Feel the Connection in Your Relationships “A cautionary word for relationships: Pay attention, be alert, stay aware of the experience of your connection. All too often, people become so used to the contact and connection in their relationships that they start to take them for granted. You presume upon that sacred gift. You stop really noticing the experience of that connection; how it makes you feel, why you treasure it, why it’s so important. The less you are aware of it, the less you nurture it and the thinner that connection becomes. Yes, there are memories of the importance, yes, there is fondness and love for what has been. But the actual experience can begin to fade. In its place grows distance, even a sense of estrangement. These feelings can easily give rise to fear and all its components. The first to go is that feeling of safety and peace that you derive from a living, vital relationship. One where the connection resides in the present; in an experience of the magic that occurs between two people sharing love and awareness and caring for each other.”