Life Will Never Be The Same–What Do I Do About It?

Maude in mask and fogHow am I coping? How are you coping? The information, the news, the images and statistics just keeping coming and changing, and my head is often swirling. As Phil shared last week, we always write from our direct experience of what is happening and how this affects us individually and in our relationships.

The ride has been very bumpy, pulsing with ups and downs and everything in between. For a few hours, I’m feeling grounded, balanced and calm about it all. I stand firmly planted and let it all wash over me, secure in my optimism that all will be well, that it is what it is, and all that matters is how we handle it. Then I’m reading the news and rage washes over me of such an extreme nature that I am shocked and shaken. How can I feel such spirit poison?

I get good results back from some medical test that had me shook up and I feel like the world is all shiny and filled with magic. I plant and stick my hands deep in the earth. I walk and take photos, and look at the beauty of the trees and the birds. I am so grateful. Then I get a text or a phone call that some beloved friend is not doing well, has had a seizure or is in great pain. My heart cries for all of us. Communications filter in on friends who lost their homes to the fires, are evacuated with nowhere to go, or who have passed on.

I breathe (don’t forget to do that!) and the air is much better today. I do beloved things that keep me present with what is. I stretch the time frame when looking at the world picture and I feel secure in the knowledge that big and very good and important changes are coming – not tomorrow, but out there not so distant that it is unimaginable. I know that progress is not linear and that, although we do our best to predict so we can act with knowledge, there are always curves and punctuated equilibrium in the forward motion.

How am I coping? I plant things, share caring & loving w/many. I stay involved, active and present. Click To TweetIn all of these ups and downs, there is the center that makes up my world and determines how I cope with my inner response to outer occurrences: my relationships.

Phil and I live in a circle of peace and love that we actively create continuously around us. We love and support each other, and accept each other as separate unique individuals.

We participate in several regular Zoom meetings together that uplift our spirits and give us hope.  An old friend runs a salon once a month on Zoom where people share about their concerns of the day and what is happening for each of them. There are many different approaches, but each person is actively doing things to effect change and I come away revitalized and full of good energy to sally forth after each salon.

We also attend a Zoom meeting where a larger group of people gather to share and empower each other. Guest speakers share their work and insights and then we break out into smaller groups to talk intimately and get to know each other more personally. I come away each week full of new ideas and renewed faith in the goodness of people.

My relationships are not all in Zoom meetings; there are social distanced one on ones in our little tea house. There are phone calls, emails, and visits with our small family pod of safety. I read an hour a day with each of my grandchildren through Face time and visit in person every few weeks.

Tuesday was our wedding anniversary. We usually go on a long trip together for a week or two. Last year we went up the Western Sierras and across a northern pass to Carson City; a few years ago we went to Yellowstone. This year we couldn’t really travel, certainly not north which is on fire. But we could and did celebrate anyway by taking a local drive into our mountains and setting aside time to be together.

So my relationships are how I cope. I am grateful. I celebrate as often as I can. I grieve for all of us, our sisters and brothers who have passed, those who are experiencing much greater hardships than I; for our planet, for our country, for the people of the world. I plant things, share caring and loving with many. I stay involved and active, and present.


Photo Credit: Phil Mayes

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19 comments on “Life Will Never Be The Same–What Do I Do About It?
  1. Janice Sandbank
    Reading your reflections today and knowing your goodness and reaching out is of great value to me. Thank you.
    Jane

  2. I hope you’ll share this to week 27’s “Write to Cope” prompt.

  3. Maude and Phil you clearly have mutuality mindsets thus are able to bring out the better side in each other and in others, plus comfortably stay in contact via Zoom during this era thus continuing via your interactions with each other and via Zoom to uplift others. Plus your specificity boosts your credibility and memorability and these are some of the reasons I continue to follow you and learn from you both

  4. nomada says:

    Excellent and relatable sharing….a Guide for us all!

  5. I relate and resonate with all of this. I love your example of a balanced and loving approach to dealing with life today. I loved “I stand firmly planted and let it all wash over me, secure in my optimism that all will be well” – me too! “Then I’m reading the news and rage washes over me of such an extreme nature that I am shocked and shaken. How can I feel such spirit poison?” – Me too!!! It was nice to read this voiced by someone else, someone I love and respect. The voices of bitterness and rage in my head do not feel like my own, and yet perhaps I need to consider them as new voices/feelings that have a place in my being, there to spur me to act and stand up to evil. I didn’t believe there was evil in our world, but my illusions have been shattered, and I have to contend with that. Putting my thoughts and feelings into music is my coping mechanism. Also very important to me is to stay connected with loved ones any way possible.

    • Maude says:

      Dear Jinjee,
      It is hard to discover these parts of ourselves and as you say, at the same time, they obviously serve a purpose in our learning and growing. These times are uncovering so much and bringing up into the light. With time, love will prevail, but we must all do our part along the way!
      wishing you the best.
      Maude

    • iris cutler says:

      Wow! Thank you Gingee, my thoughts exactly! Iris

  6. Maude! First, I really love the photo of you here! Next…I could rewrite what your friend Jinjee said pretty much verbatim and call it a day for this post, haha. Maude, is either of the two zoom groups you mentioned today open to additional attendees? I’d sure be interested, if so.

    Love to you and Mr. Phil.

    • Maude says:

      Hi Lynelle,
      Thank you for your comments. I am so glad you are able to relate to the post!
      As to the zoom groups, one is open and I will email you the info and let her know to send you an invite as well.
      be well, be good
      Maude

  7. Marie Weiss says:

    Marie Weiss
    Thank you for your post, Maude. You describe something like my own experience so clearly. The ups and the downs, intensity of the feelings, the power of connection and nature and so essentially, remembering to return to the still center within, watching it all. It would be far more testing in the US of course, though many of us from over the seas are experiencing to a degree and witnessing alongside you.
    Blessings,
    Marie

    • Maude says:

      Thank you, Marie! It is good to hear that people all over are sharing in this experience. Things are so intense here, that we often forget the whole world is passing through this as well. Our elections being so close has narrowed our viewpoint, I think.
      Again thank you so much for your comment.
      be well
      all the best
      Maude

  8. iris cutler says:

    I enjoyed your description of all the ups, downs and adventures; from reading to grandkids to medical evaluations. Your buoyancy is contagious and I need the boost. I feel sad and grumpy and I’m tired of watching the economic and emotional struggles created by this strange twisted time. My grandsons’ remote learning, my daughter’s unemployed. I am unemployed. All along I have enjoyed so much, there have been many plusses but these days I feel tired not inspired and look for the lighter sides.
    Thank you!
    Iris

    • Maude says:

      I am so happy to hear this! If I can shine light in any corner of this darkness that sometimes feels so pervasive, then I am very grateful!
      thank you!
      Maude

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