We frequently mention core values in our writings without giving much explanation, so let’s discuss what they are, why they’re important and how they serve as the foundation for a good relationship.
Whether you have been aware of yours or not, they underlie all your behavior.
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Phil and Maude
Spreading Peace One Relationship at a Time
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Why Core Values are Important for a Successful Relationship
Why Are Core Values Important in Your Relationship? The Spectrum of Acceptance Part 1
PHIL: Have you ever been in a relationship where the same issue kept coming up again and again? It may have been twice a week or twice a year, but it was something the two of you could never resolve.
That was a core value.
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What Are Core Values, and What Are Yours? Part II
MAUDE: We started a two-part blog on core values last week. In this second installment, Phil and I want to share with you our personal meanings and values – what they are for each of us. I have thought about this and looked to see if there are answers to this critical topic that I haven’t shared with you in the past.
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What Are Core Values, and What Are Yours? Part I
Core values – what exactly are they? They differ from person to person, and if your partner’s values don’t match yours, they will emerge as irreconcilable differences in your most serious arguments. That is why it is so important to make sure those values match when entering a relationship.
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Phil and Maude’s Friday Feature: Core Values
We recently had the pleasure of writing an article for Older Dating, a site which is dedicated to helping older singles meet new people all across the UK. This site offers lots of helpful articles by an array of dating and relationship experts aimed at helping people over 40 create successful relationships.
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Why Are Core Values Important in Successful Relationships?
One requirement for a successful relationship is that your core values match. What do we mean by core values? Well, they are what you value – duh – and you’re gonna have to name them for yourself. Not everybody holds the same values, because if they did, the issue of needing a match wouldn’t arise.
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Core Values and The Spectrum of Acceptance
Along with a discussion of core values, it is important to talk about The Spectrum of Acceptance. When we talk about successful relationships, we describe actions and values as lying along a spectrum. At one end of this spectrum are your deal breakers; areas of meaning and value that you consider to be core to your life.
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Core Values
For a relationship to work really well, both people must hold the same deep seated beliefs; if they truly don’t, then some time, somewhere, one person will shock and horrify the other with their behavior.
Two economists might both see the world in transactional terms, where everything has a value, leisure time and work time are tradeoffs, and there is an opportunity cost to everything from love to diapers.
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The Truth of the “We” at the Core of Relationships
A core aspect of our relationship is the “We”. And yet we are each separate individuals.
Herein lies a paradox we referred to in last week’s blog about seeing differences as an asset. As well as making the “we” central in our relationship, to be an unquestioned baseline, it is also necessary for us to have the knowledge and experience that we are honored, respected and supported unique individuals.
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What’s at the Core of Your Relationship?
We’ve talked about the importance of having aligned core values for a successful relationship. Breaking this down further, you can think of core values at two levels: universal and individual.
Universal core values are based on the understanding that we are all related, all equal, all brothers and sisters.
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you too can have a relationship without conflict.
Check out some of our interviews with Michael and Jacqueline, Lynelle Paulick on KCSB, Gail Brenner and Bill Weil.
