We try to honor our birthdays and anniversaries by getting away and taking time to step back, reflect on what has been created and what is to come. We are at a wonderful Airbnb in Joshua Tree celebrating our 12th anniversary of meeting. “Anniversary of meeting”, you ask. “Didn’t you celebrate your wedding anniversary back in September?” Well, yes we did. Guilty as charged. As a matter of fact, we celebrate our union all the time.
Lovely and refreshing as these getaways are, there is a sense that they are not special, out of the ordinary acknowledgments of our relationship, because we do that every day. There is no discontinuity, no picking up threads that have been dropped, because we live our lives in the constant appreciation of each other, whether we are together or apart. We live in a state of grace and gratefulness for each other, and our time together is a quiet celebration of that.
We are sure that celebrating your relationship every day will contribute greatly to your relationship success. The longer that people are together, the easier it becomes to take each other for granted. People tend, on the whole, to become used to what is constant, and often not to actually see or notice that which is familiar and known. Strangely, this is even more the case with things that are going well or don’t present us with problems to solve.
This creates a topsy turvy kind of world experience, where the very things that we could derive sustenance and encouragement from are ignored, in favor of that which is not working, or even impacting us negatively.
We have found it the greatest joy to turn this around! We celebrate each other, being together and the pleasures of our union, as often, and in as many different ways as possible. We do this daily with simple things, not only with trips, or for special occasions (although getting out of the everyday environment and activities can be a wonderful wake up call.)
What do we mean by daily celebrating? First and foremost, we see each other, we hear each other and we listen to each other. We NEVER TAKE EACH OTHER FOR GRANTED. We set aside time daily to be with each other. We hug and kiss, and smile with each other. We touch. We have always found that making physical contact is very important to actually connecting. We share our inner thoughts with each other. We make time, no matter how busy. We do this because of our deep appreciation for each other. We see the good qualities in each other, and marvel at the combination of support and independence that make each of us so great to be around.
Learning to accept love is one of the great skills of life #relationships #quote #love Click To TweetWe are not people of leisure with so much time that we can do this, in contrast to you, who say you cannot. We make the time because we have come to realize that this connection of ours fortifies and sustains us. By acknowledging and celebrating our togetherness, we garner the clarity, peace and love to face our challenges and our individual crisis. We give our attention to that which is good and can thereby handle that which is difficult.
If you have fallen into a pattern of ignoring each other, or always putting your togetherness off to a time that never comes, a radical shake up is needed. Switch it around. You’ve got it all backwards, and you are depriving yourselves of the very thing which will help you handle everything else. Celebrate your love and your lover, and bring love back into your life as the living, healing quality it is. Celebrate your relationship by seeing what is good in it, and more than that, tell your partner so. Big or small, look at what they bring into your life; breathe it in, bathe in it, feel surrounded by it, feel loved by it. Learning to accept love is one of the great skills of life. Washing the dishes or making the bed is an act of love. See it. Accept it. Acknowledge it. Celebrate it.