Successful Relationships Reading Corner
This week, we wrote about the importance of sharing your truth in relationships. This is a key topic, and we’ve written about different aspects of it a number of times before.
Why it is Important to be Honest and Share Your Truth in Relationships “As to how you speak when it involves another person, you must be gentle as well as honest. Some people take the intimacy of a relationship as a safe place to dump all their feelings, act out, or blame the other person. Don’t do this. They are your feelings; find out where they come from. Even when they appear to be caused by someone else, that person probably has their own set of causes. Every lie takes an effort. Every unspoken feeling takes its toll on the body. When you are honest and authentic in your relationships, life is freer and lighter.”
Why You Need to Trust and Speak Your Truth in Relationships “Being honest is not just a matter of not telling a lie. It is more often about not sharing your truth. When you withhold some part of yourself, it can be sensed. Your partner may not know what it is, but they can sense that it is. This causes feelings of mistrust and doubt to enter your relationship. It will create unnecessary distance and even estrangement. To overcome and avoid this unnecessary and all too common behavior requires self-reflection and an open self review. As with so many issues that can complicate a relationship, this takes a desire to know yourself and to examine your actions.”
Why it is Important to Speak Your Truth in Relationships “Phil and I were sharing over dinner the other night and found ourselves discussing what it means to speak your truth, and how you find your way to that truth. I was telling him about some challenges I was trying to resolve with one of my close friends. I told him what had occurred and how once I had reflected on what was troubling me, I was able to share that with my friend. The feeling of finding that truth and then being able to speak it without charge or blame, but rather with a clear statement of what I felt, created a tremendous peace and calm within me and toward my friend. When something happens in one of my relationships that upsets me or makes me feel hurt or not treated well and I don’t really understand my reaction, often I can’t say anything right away. Perhaps this is a good thing as it gives me time to reflect on what is going on in me that makes me feel this way; what is my truth? Uncomfortable feelings of someone I know behaving and making choices that are foreign to me are often at the root of my discomfort.”