Successful Relationships Reading Corner
This week, we wrote about why honesty is so important in creating peace in your relationships. It’s a major factor, as evidenced by the number of times we have written about it.
How Honesty Leads to Trust in Your Relationships “A relationship that is grounded in the experience of peace is a powerful support for your growth and well-being. It is so far removed from the fears and blockages that interfere with your happiness and ability to actualize your potential that it seems almost magical. It feels both extraordinary and absolutely natural. It seems to require no effort to relate in that space, to feel the sense of the connection; to feel the other person and know where to meet them. There is a strong pull in that direction. Peace is very attractive, and peaceful connections are fulfilling and alluring.”
How Total Honesty Makes For Harmonious Relationships “Total honesty is a major part of a harmonious relationship. Holding back in the sense of not presenting yourself totally means that you are not quite yourself when you’re with the other person. That produces a force that makes you want to be away from the relationship and find 100% of yourself again, even if you don’t act on it. Everybody has that need, even if it is buried deeply. To be in a relationship with total honesty is to be free of needing to scratch that itch.
That might sound scary and risky. Are you going to be criticized or thought less of? At first, that’s a distinct possibility; you have to reveal yourself progressively to see what happens. Not everybody wants or can handle honesty. You have to get to know their attitudes and level of acceptance.”
The Importance of Sharing Your Truth in Relationships “Speaking honestly and telling your truth in your relationships can be tricky. It is not just about not lying, although that is certainly a good starting point. Lying always causes distance between you and the other person, even if you are the only one who knows it. It may be because you are also concealing it from yourself, or that you feel you won’t be heard if you speak it, or that it may hurt the other person. These are all real reasons that people tell themselves for lying, either directly or by omission. Regardless of the reason, it creates distance between you and the other person. You can avoid this kind of separation in your connections by first learning your truth. For some people that is clear, while for others it is a process that requires active inner work to find. Once you know it, you will need to find the proper time, language, and tone of voice to communicate that truth. You can just blurt it out without thinking about these things, but that is rarely successful.”