This week we blogged about why we wrote our new book, and we can’t find any links about that! So instead, here are some excerpts from our new book, “How Two: Have a Successful Relationship.”
We live a conflict-free relationship. It’s been more than a decade now full of peace, love, joy and passion. Friends check in with us every so often: “So you still haven’t had any arguments?” The answer is always “No.”
Squabbles in a relationship are like stones in your shoes; they don’t have to be there.
One of the keys to a peaceful and joyous way of relating is to accept and respect each other as two separate and absolutely unique individuals. In our relationship, this is a critical part of how we are with each other.
When there is something we need to agree on, whether it be a decision we have to make or a problem that needs to be resolved, we have found a way of dealing with it that does not involve any struggle or conflict.
Being present means paying attention to what is actually happening. We get on so well because we practice this with each other; what is in the moment is more important to us than what has happened or what might happen.
Sexuality, Intimacy and Union
For us, as for many couples, sexuality is a place where we have a direct experience of union – a sense that we have merged to form one body. The sense of self as an individual, separate experience still remains, but there is this additional sense of connectedness. Sex is like a step-ladder; it enables us to reach a higher place, a vista of union that transcends the physical.
One of the most surprising aspects of our relationship is the direct experience of peace that it engenders. This follows naturally from the alternatives to conflict that we practice. For us, peace is not a void described by the absence of conflict, anger or war. Peace is an actual experience.