Why Did We Write How Two: Have a Successful Relationship?
With our new book coming out next week, it’s a good time to share our personal reasons for writing it and how it came about.
Every relationship starts out well, and so did ours. As it continued, we were both struck by the sense that it was different and unusual, that it had a peaceful nature that was not circumstantial, but intrinsic. It had qualities that seemed remarkable, and we began to talk about just what they were, groping for words to describe them. We tried to break down what the elements were to this kind of relating, and to help us, we began a private blog where we wrote back and forth to each other for several years. (We used pseudonyms, and you can read it here.)
It was clear early on that this was a grace, a gift, and that we had an obligation to share it with others. We felt a deep responsibility to pass on the information that such a conflict-free way of being together, one filled with a profound sense of peace, was possible for everyone. We became convinced that this new way of looking at relationship possibilities could actually change the nature of how people relate and thereby contribute to bringing peace into the world.
How we would share this information wasn’t clear at first, but we chose to write a book, and looked through the several hundred posts we had made to identify the major themes. This wasn’t easy, as everything was connected to everything else, but islands emerged out of the sea of words and resulted in our first book “Secrets of a Successful Relationship Revealed.” We took care to make the book a description of what is possible, and left people to see how to reach it by themselves, everyone being different. We didn’t want to break our own rules and tell people what to do. But the feedback we got was “How?”
Since that book’s publication, we have continued to explore this wonderful way of being, looking more closely at what we do and don’t do to create it, and so “How Two” was born. We are more convinced than ever that we are talking about a real, tangible experience of peace. We hope that by sharing this that some will realize that it is possible, and will therefore make the transformation that brings peace both into their relationship and into the world.