Why is Touch so Important in Your Relationship?

touch“I was so touched by your gesture.”
“I felt for the leading character.”
“I contacted John and set up lunch.”
“I see what you mean.”
“It smells fishy to me.”

Language is full of metaphors, often drawing on the senses. In particular, touch and the emotions are so intertwined that the word “feelings” is a synonym for both.

We were sitting next to each other with our bodies gently touching, while writing our weekly blog post. We were fleshing out the main points and discussing what to communicate. It felt so close, so intimate.

The exchange of ideas is always very exhilarating, but this was more than that. It was the physical contact that was creating that sense of warmth and connection as well.

This really got us thinking about touch and the importance of the physical in that triad of relationships – body, mind and spirit.

We have often written about how helpful it is to have some physical contact when making decisions and solving problems. We have emphasized that having eye contact and sitting near each other creates a stronger sense of being heard and acknowledged when practicing active listening. These sound like very simple acts, and yet they can have a profound effect in creating an atmosphere of connection.

When you touch a body, you touch the whole person, the intellect, the spirit, and the emotions. Jane Harrington

Sexual intimacy supports many couples in staying connected and experiencing their union as active and thriving. The same can be said of sensual exchanges where massage, stroking and other forms of physical intimacy are shared.

Sex, in its physical aspect, is a celebration of all the senses, but touch is the only one that is essential to the occasion. Remove touch, leaving the other senses, and you have a porno movie with popcorn and patchouli.

In a relationship, touch is an essential part. It is how people feel connected. (There’s that metaphor again.) Studies that were done of Romanian orphans who were neglected and rarely touched showed that they developed brain abnormalities and lifelong behavioral problems.

The senses predate our neocortex and language, and the messages we get from touch are way deeper that words. We are soothed and calmed by contact with another. It gives the message that we are not alone in the universe.

And there it is: touch is one of the most critical factors in keeping that sense of intimacy and connection so necessary to successful relationships. Without it, people begin to doubt the reality of their connection.

Touch can turn around many problems without even a word being said. #quote #relationships Click To TweetThere are many ways to share physical contact, and different styles fit different partners. Whatever form this kind of sharing takes for you, make sure it is a regular part of your relationship. Don’t get so busy that you forget to physically connect with your partner.

To connect physically, you have to stop what you are doing and reach out toward your partner, you have to be close enough to your partner to actually make contact. The warmth and reassurance that comes from a hug, a quick kiss, your partner taking your hand while walking, sitting close enough together that your legs touch while talking together or even watching a program, all these acts are forms of physical contact that speak volumes with no words.

This is an easy, readily available and important form of letting your mate know that they are seen, heard, and appreciated. Be lavish in this area. It can turn around many problems without even a word being said. It is not a substitute for other forms of communication, but it is a wonderful way to share intimacy. So whether you’re single, celibate, playing nymph and satyr or snuggling in front of Netflix, be aware of the importance of touch. Give and receive it, and drink in the message of love and connection.

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