Successful Relationships Reading Corner
This week, we wrote about how peaceful relationships create the freedom to be yourself. Here are some articles about acceptance, which is an important aspect of having this kind of freedom in your relationships.
How Can Relationship Differences Lead to Peace, not Anger or Resentment? “The twin sisters of recognition of individuality and acceptance of what that offers, are a true path of freedom from anger, resentment, defensiveness, separation and estrangement. They bring a shift in your very reality. You are catapulted into the present, into living with what is rather than your mental construct of what could or should be. And in this present is love and peace…You have the freedom to be yourself, a rarity in this world. You can be yourself when alone, and you can be yourself in the presence of your partner. The result is a simultaneous experience of being separate and together. When there are no expectations or demands or restrictions on you, it can result in a closeness like no other.”
Do You Have Thumbtacks in Your Relationship? “Thumbtacks represent, of course, lack of total acceptance from your partner. They’re criticisms, irritations, demands; they all want you to act differently in some way. Your partner doesn’t accept you as you are. But when there are no thumbtacks, when your partner offers what we call 100% acceptance, the effect is transforming. You can be yourself. The importance of 100% cannot be underestimated; it is nothing like 99% because anything less involves measurement, division, in and out, good and bad. It enables total freedom from the need to withdraw and to defend, and consequently to separate. The extraordinary freedom to be yourself that comes from this kind of acceptance can only be achieved by 100%. The freedom is liberating. Just as with the dancing, there is no comparison; 99% acceptance and 100% acceptance are not different by 1%. They differ in quality in the way that two parallel lines differ from two non-parallel lines.”
Are You Losing Your Individuality in Your Relationship? “When your partner accepts, acknowledges and appreciates your individuality, it affords you the possibility of attaining true freedom of expression. In order for this to manifest, you have to recognize the opportunities created, and then act on them…. As you learn to take advantage of the freedom your partner is offering, you will come to appreciate what a wonderful opportunity this provides for you to be yourself, not someone else’s expectations of you. Once you can see this, act on it. Offer your true self: what you want, what you believe, what you feel. How Two: Have a Successful Relationship”