Successful Relationships Reading Corner
This week, we wrote about the power of seeing and being seen in your relationships. Here are some of the articles we’ve written on different aspects of this fascinating topic.
3 Things That Every Person Wants in Their Relationships “Acknowledgment is when you communicate to the other person that you see them, like the famous words in the film Avatar. You let them know that you truly see them and that who they are brings you joy and adds to who you are.”
Why Relationships Last: Acceptance, Acknowledgment, Appreciation “It is an amazing feeling when someone truly sees you, hears you, and celebrates who you are; when the feedback you receive is acknowledging, accepting, and appreciative. There is a sense of warmth and relief that comes over you and a calm relaxation that engulfs you when you are offered this gift. This is the actual experience of peace that descends upon you when interactions are devoid of criticism, rejection, or attempts to change you. There is a similar experience of peacefulness within you when you can accept, acknowledge and appreciate the uniqueness, the otherness of someone you are relating to. When you approach them with this attitude, it changes you. When you experience actions or statements that are different from the way you usually act and can still recognize the commonality, it is transformative.”
Beware of Criticism; It Can Poison Your Relationship “What helps me tremendously is that Maude is never a critic. She may offer critiques, but never criticism. She is sometimes so complimentary that I find it hard to accept. One trick when receiving a compliment in which you don’t recognize yourself is to simply say “Thank you.” The person is offering you a gift (assuming it’s sincere), so don’t insult them by refusing it. Accepting honest praise may feel so unnatural at first, but stick with it. Especially in our earlier years together, I scarcely recognized myself in Maude’s descriptions of me, but I was bold enough to accept those better visions of myself and change my self-perception. (This is the kind of reframing which Maude wrote about last week.)”