The idea that shared interests make a couple compatible is very common: What Mr. Godla shared with Ms. Vignon, which he hadn’t with his first three wives, was “a passion for the field of 18th-century craftsmanship in French decorative arts,” …
Criticism is like an arrow: the sender only sees feathers, but the recipient sees a sharp point.
We’ve been reading “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail” by John Gottman. After studying hundreds of couples, he concluded that all of them contained conflict, and successfully resolving it was the key to a lasting marriage. We disagree. In the seven-plus …
Sometimes I think that we put out such a strong message of how well we relate that people are discouraged and think that we are lucky to be so specially matched. But it’s not what we are, what lottery tickets …
We were talking last night, as we often do, about the ease between us. Whether going out, planning the day, working together or relaxing, there is a fluidity, a way of effortlessly choosing a path that works for both of …
After all this time I am still mystified about union. There are many clues that our experience is not unique, e.g. “shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh“, but the modern world-view has no …
We wrote about our process without explaining the basis on which it rests. That basis is a shared view of the world – how to treat it and how to deal with it. Morality or ethics, if you will. This …
We made another video about the book, but it didn’t feel quite right, so I left it for a couple of weeks. After noticing the other videos had music, but this one didn’t, I added some in the background, and …
Psychology Today ran an article “Are You with the Right Mate?” which has much sage advice on relationships, but like nearly every relationship article, it talks in terms of conflict and negotiation: “Everyone who is married is a difficult spouse.” …
Not everyone who is married is a difficult spouse Read more »
I love what you say about our ease in talking because I have had the “we need to talk” speech from so many other people. So what’s the difference? Was I mutated by a bombardment of cosmic rays? No, I …