How to Find Mutuality in Your Relationship
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We are conscious of the “we” at all times when planning and acting on things. It is critical to the success of a peaceful loving relationship to understand how to find mutuality, and how to create from that place of connection.
Our relationship is founded and based on this mutuality. It’s not that we are looking to become similar. We support and celebrate each of our individualities and share these as fully as possible with each other. The more we know each other and are attuned to one another, the easier it is to move into the shared identity of the we.
It makes all the difference to peace of mind and to working together without discord or tension to have this underpinning of connectedness, of knowing you are not at odds, but rather wanting to find mutuality together.
It is critical to the success of a peaceful loving relationship to find mutuality #relationships Click To TweetLast week we wrote about staying aware of the connection and watching for any signs of distance or estrangement. It is very helpful to affirm that you are both on the same side, and to maintain and nurture the sense of mutuality. When you do this as a part of your ongoing relationship, you will have the ability to create from a space that is co-owned by both of you, and you can work in peace and comfort as you use that skill to generate mutually pleasing results.
This is not something that is theoretical or out of reach for most people. It can be quite simple to do, especially when it becomes a regular part of how you are with each other. Make agreements and verbalize them to each other; refer to them aloud periodically. When you sit down to build a tea house together or plan your anniversary trip, know that you both want to hear all of each other’s thoughts and ideas; know that your own ideas and images will be enlarged, not attacked or diminished by your partner’s, and that out of all this, you will find a conclusion that delights both of you.
As with so many important understandings between people, communication is vital. To approach decisions, actions, and plans in this way, both of you have to speak your desire for united results. You need to want to hear each other and to find that place where each of you becomes something more than just yourselves, where you become that “we” that acts in mutuality of will and purpose. This is the place where creativity blossoms and where magic occurs.
Forming healthy, diverse relationships: Seek sweet spots of mutual interest early in conversation. Over time you will then have cultivated diverse allies and thus be able to collectively see more sides of a situation and thus be able to make smarter decisions faster about a potential problem or opportunity. + Become more quotable: Get specific sooner and you’ll boost credibility and memorability. A great way to do that is to offer an apt detail or story or example. The specific detail can prove a general conclusion yet not the opposite. Hint: adopt a mutuality mindset. Recognize that healthy relationships are based, not on a quid pro quo but an ebb and flow of mutual support over time. Hint: adopt a mutuality mindset, learn exactly how via book, Mutuality Matters