How Trust and Peace go Hand in Hand in Your Relationships

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MAUDE: We’ve been talking about trust as one of the most basic aspects of a peaceful relationship: what it feels like, how you get there, what behavior engenders it.

I wanted to write about my personal experience, so to do that, I looked at 6 close relationships where I feel deep trust in the people and in the relationship, and I know that it is mutual. These were with Phil, 3 women friends, and my two sons.

It’s easy to feel trusting with Phil because he shares who he is openly and without defenses. Over time, I have learned from his actions as well as his words that he wishes me well and cares deeply, seeks fairness, and is a compassionate person. He relates from love, not fear.

And that is the same for each of these 6 relationships, and all the others I have that bear the fruits of peace and fulfillment.

In looking at all of these relationships, I see much the same qualities, all expressed differently by each of the unique personalities. The experience of this trust has built over time. It takes time to slowly open to another and let go of your defenses, bit by bit. All of these are also without certain responses, like suspicion, withholding, distance, or deception. We accept each other for who we are.

Each of these loved ones:

• Opens themselves up and shares deeply with me who they are and how they feel.

• Is genuinely interested in knowing who I am and how I feel, as fully as possible.

• Interacts without being defended.

• Truly wishes the best possible outcome for me and vice versa.

• Takes the time to keep the relationship current, sharing in the joys and sorrows of our lives.

There is an exquisite sensation of relaxation when a relationship has these qualities of openness. It manifests in the body and breathing, as well as the mind. This trust brings with it an active visceral experience of peace. We wish you all the blessings of relating to each other in this manner. The key is to come from love not fear.As trust builds in a relationship, the sense of peace grows with it #quote #relationships Share on X

PHIL: Trust. What’s my personal way of experiencing that? Well, I think that trust and openness go hand in hand. To feel seen and connected, you need to be open and show yourself; whatever you feel, you share. That may sound extreme, but the route there is that you open up just a little, take just a little risk, and if you are greeted with acceptance and offered some openness in return, then your trust increases and your openness increases until you reach the experience that the two of you are operating from the same place. It’s a wild experience for me still because it presupposes a different kind of consciousness, or identity if you will, and there isn’t a space in material thinking where that belongs, so I am very much in awe of it, and that stands in stark relief against the rational mind.

The level of trust increases until it reaches a point of so much trust that it is possible to relinquish the last of the defensiveness and be totally open, and the energy that was formerly needed to maintain defenses can now go into living fully.

It is a trust of intentions, not actions. Everybody stumbles at times, so actions may sometimes disappoint, but when they aren’t done with bad intentions, there is no reason to get defensive. It remains a relationship of cooperation, not competition.

Along with this experience of trust is the experience of peace. This is the place that we abide in.

Photo credit: Phil Mayes
Photo note: The joy that comes from trust

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