I so look forward to the time when we come together at night. It is a counter to the noise of the world; it cleanses my soul of the grime of the day. I am no longer pulled by the obligations of the world; I float unbuffeted by them. The peacefulness is like the results of meditation, yet is different because you share this space with me. I draw strength from the knowledge that I am not alone in this world.
We talked about sex, intimacy and union in our last blog. One of the keys to experiencing the kind of intimacy that unites a couple is spending time in your sacred space together. In the early stages of your relationship there were times when you came together and exulted in the sheer pleasure of being with the other person. We call this a sacred space. What do we mean?
- Sacred space is not a physical location. It is a special time and a special way for the couple to spend time with each other. It is something that needs to be done daily or as often as possible in a relationship.
- The activities are not important and they will be different for each couple. The content of your sacred space is what matters.
- A sacred space is sacred and must be treated as such. It must be protected. It must be given highest priority. This is a time when you put everything away from your outside experiences and focus entirely on each other. Each of you has the complete attention of the other. You know that you are seen, heard, and appreciated for who you are.
- In it, you are completely present; that is to say, you are not worrying about or planning the future, neither are you reliving the pains and pleasures of the past. Instead, you pay attention to what is right in front of you, and are able to hear and see your partner more as they are, and less as you imagine them.
- This is a time when you enjoy the pleasures of being together. PLEASURE is the important word in the sentence. In your sacred space you are sharing the love and enjoying the blessing of being together. You are free to revel in each other as nothing else invades this space. This is not necessarily sexual (though obviously it can be.)
- Your sacred space is filled with the appreciation of each other, sharing yourselves and the warmth and intimacy that comes from being open.
- Sacred space is consciously set apart from all other activities. It is often helpful to associate ritual with your sacred space. This can serve to differentiate this time from any other.
To be in such a place is very rejuvenating. It puts you back in touch with yourself. When you go back out into the world, a little piece of you stays in that place of peace and calms you down.
In our next blog post we will discuss how to create and maintain this kind of sacred space and why it is important in a relationship. Do you have a sacred space you share in your relationship? Tell us about it.