Successful Relationships Reading Corner

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This week, we wrote about how to make the differences in your relationship be assets. This is something that we experience all the time in our relationship, and we think it is a key factor to having a peaceful relationship. Here are some articles offering help on how to achieve this.

Is it better to be like your partner? “Among many monogamous species, from cockatiels to cichlid fish, studies have revealed a clear pattern: it helps to be more similar to your mate. When mating pairs are behaviourally similar, their reproductive success tends to be higher. In human terms, this would imply it’s better to be similar to your partner. Indeed, for a long time psychologists and others have argued that similarity is probably beneficial – after all, then we will be more likely to enjoy the same pursuits, values and outlook on life. But no matter how intuitive the idea seems, for decades nearly every study has failed to support it.”

Is There Space For Both Personalities In Your Relationship? “Most couples do not understand or appreciate the differences in both partners’ personalities. As a result, they fight over trying to change each other, rather than leveraging each partner’s unique personality to build a strong and healthy relationship.”

Understand and accept differences in your relationship “Just because we’re different, (communication) issues arise. Because we observe everything from our male or female (energy) perspective sometimes it seems that your partner has gone totally mad. Of course in the early stages of being in love, we don’t see the differences so clearly. However sooner or later the differences – in terms of irritation points – become more apparent. The tendency (your conditioning) then is to judge and condemn. The tendency is also strong to try to reshape your partner to your ideal partner image. But it doesn’t work that way! You can’t change your partner! You can only change the way you deal with the situation.”

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