Phil always admired a friend of his, also a programmer, who took time out to go surfing, play volleyball, travel abroad over Xmas. There are people like this who never complain about being busy. And then there’s the rest of us. We find it difficult to step completely out of work mode. (If you’re self-employed, it’s even worse, because there is always a next thing to do.)
Whether working or retired, most of us are busy in today’s world! We are used to taking care of business and are occupied with the upkeep of our daily lives, combined with our service actions. It takes conscious effort to get out of this work mode. We tend to put that first and give it preference, and most of us have been doing this all our lives.
This can easily cause problems in a relationship. It is a general attitude that needs to be overcome and replaced.
It’s not just work as in making a living that sucks up our hours; it’s shopping, cleaning, childcare, parent care, friend care, health care, finance care; the list goes on. We’re sure you’ve read articles that recommend stepping away from the rain of events with date nights or personal time – some form of taking time out to decompress.
But look at that language: “time out” implies that time in is the normal state of affairs, and that being free is the exception. Suppose instead it was called “time in”. It’s an invitation to be yourself. Here is the place where transformation can take place. Simply replace the thought of “time out” with the image of “time in.”
Relationships need to be experienced in the present to stay vital and loving. It is important to have new experiences together, to look at things with freshness, and to infuse our relationships with the intimacy and love that comes from doing this.
In relationships, create new experiences together and bring peace into your shared activities #peace Click To TweetTo have a partnership filled with living peace, it is necessary to share peace together as a tangible reality. This is not an intellectual construct, but a true feeling, a knowing of peace. For us, we both feel this essence when we are in nature. It has become very important for us to take time in nature and to make this a priority in our life together. We both experience a level of shared peace when in natural settings, and we are able to take this actuality and carry it forward into our interactions and our day to day lives.
Whether your direct shared experience of peace comes from nature or from other sources, it is important that you renew and refresh your relationship by doing these kinds of activities together. Find these places within yourself and cultivate them together. Find ways to bring these individual actions that bring peace into your shared activities. You will not only be stronger in your union as a result but will also be better at taking care of business and of being of service to others. Oh, and remember, have fun!