Successful Relationships Reading Corner
This week, we wrote about the we that exists with the separate self. Here are some previous posts that further develop some of the ideas presented.
Why Being Positive is so Powerful in Relationships and in the World “This struck us both and reminded us how critical it is to hear each other’s voices proclaiming the importance of spreading peace and the reality of peace; of how much we all need this and how this is the way to strengthen and promote this very reality. Shout it out. Sing it as loud as you can, wherever you are, in whatever way you can. I sense that a massive effort of the majority is called for to act and live and breathe out the reality that love is the strongest force and that we are not divided, but rather that we are related in a familial way. We can and must act, each in our sphere and in our own unique way, to contribute to this loud, certain declaration of light as supreme, of hope, and the way of kindness.”
The Balance Between Self-Reflection and Connection in Relationships “Phil and I often write about how important it is to your relationships to get to know yourself and the truths that reflect who you are right now. We have emphasized the need for self-reflection so that you can make appropriate choices that represent your values, rather than just reacting from conditioning or outdated behavior. We support taking time to listen inside, and to become attuned to which of the thoughts and feelings that pass through you are the ones you want to express and act upon. Seeking self-knowledge and becoming overly self-involved are not the same thing. The first creates an opportunity for increased conscious connection, and the second reduces it considerably. Many who embark on the path of self-realization lose themselves in the seeking and in the self. Balance is that important ingredient. Anything done to the extreme becomes an impediment rather than an element of growth.”
What We Have Learned About Peace And Harmony Through Our Relationship “Which leads to the second aspect of our relationship: that I feel seen, accepted and not controlled. Controlled may be too strong a word. I am talking about all those expectations of how a partner should behave: words of love, how the kitchen is kept, how time is spent. With full acceptance, expectations do not exist. No, it is more that her expectations are deeper than that; they go to our wedding vows of openness, truth and positivity, and because those commitments were given by me, not taken from me, they are not a burden. They are how I want to live. The result is that no part of me is nibbled away; I have no sense of losing myself, because I can be completely myself in this relationship. This, if you haven’t picked up on it already, gives our relationship an extraordinary radical quality of peace. I continue to learn who I am, how to be myself, how to disentangle from a lifetime of injunctions and expectations. For this I am profoundly grateful. Thank you, Maude. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”