How to Have the Spirit of Goodwill All Year Round

How to Have the Spirit of Goodwill All Year Round

It is the season of peace on earth and goodwill to all. We won’t go into where this is falling short; instead, we want to say that goodwill is not just for the holiday season, so let’s look at what it involves.

Goodwill in relationships, whether friendship, family or romance, is the intention and belief with which you approach each other. There is an intention to have a loving connection and the belief that both parties mean well.

In a healthy intimate relationship, there is no need to hold back, defend or be on alert. To come from a place of goodwill, assume that there isn’t a struggle going on, that you’re not seeing a threat or distance. Assume that the other person is acting out of goodwill, too.

The attitude that goes along with this is remembering, knowing, assuming you’re on the same side. You both want the outcome to be whatever is the best for everyone.

More than just the feeling of being on the same side, there is also a “we” factor, a sense that the connection is something that exists over and above the two individuals. It is subtle, but it is a state, we almost want to call it a place, that is recognizable once seen. It is an experiential sense of the two of you together, of being on the same side, of knowing that the other wishes you the best and does not intend harm. It exists alongside the sense of self, and it requires complete trust and openness for you to coexist with it.

And yet, for all that goodwill, we still all have our triggers, our large and small unresolved areas of past pains and betrayals, of sensitivities developed when very young or in past relationships. So if you feel affronted or slighted or ignored or whatever, don’t react to it as if it’s aimed at you. It might have occurred because their intention for goodwill didn’t have the desired results. Or maybe it arises because of your expectations or sensitivity.

So what can be done to prevent withdrawing from our intimate connections in these times?

Practice peace on earth and goodwill to all by starting with your close relationships #peace Click To TweetYou can look inside yourself for a possible explanation rather than at the other person. What is going on that has created a feeling of separation and even a need for defense? Why are you closing down or feeling hurt? There are riches to be found in these situations. Do you want to stay with this feeling; is there any need to hold on to this disruption of connection? These and many other reflections can teach you more about yourself and open the path to better relating.

Once this deep dive inside has given you more understanding of yourself, you can re-engage with the person and process the experience together. What did each of you say and what was really meant? How are each of you feeling as a result? How can you go forward together without disconnection or a feeling of withdrawal, and how can you avoid it?

Stay with that sense of connection and turn towards the other person from that place. And then, speak and communicate to the other person with that tone of voice, with that understanding that you truly are knowing that on the other side is a person of goodwill. Like, there really is a “we”, and you’re not going to run to the separate corners of you and the other just because it felt like there was a breach or something jarring. Rather, sit down together and find that place. Through actually being together in that space, you strengthen the sense of it as something real.

We have been lucky enough to have had a sense of that place from the start, so we’ve always gone there, which is how we’ve never had any serious conflicts. All we can say is look, it exists and you can find it, and when you find it, then you can always go to that place with the other person as long as you both have goodwill.

Let’s practice peace on earth and goodwill to all by starting with all our close relationships, by looking within to grow and better understand ourselves, and then taking that out into the community and the world.

Photo credit: Phil Mayes
Photo note: Maude’s amazing collection of Santas!

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13 Comments on “How to Have the Spirit of Goodwill All Year Round

  1. YES! NAMASTE! I do believe that is all of what you said in one word…The light in me recognizes the light in you!!!!!!!! May we all find that place inside ourselves…Thank you for all the weeks of all the words that spread peace and love and the way forward…I love waking up on Sunday and reading this blog!

    • Well now, this is so well-said that I’ll just say, “hear hear”!

      Merry Christmas, Phil and Maude, my dear loved and loving ones. I wish you perfect health in the coming year.


  2. Great message. My husband Charlie always said there are three entities in a relationship: you, me and us.
    Happy holidays and a great new year. Peace on earth and the cosmos!
    Love Jane

    • Yes! That’s what we always say too – we are on the same page as Charlie with acknowledging the “we”!
      with love

  3. I really needed to get this message today because I was tempted to interpret someone’s actions as antagonistic. I was at a crossroad when I read your words and then I could see that I was just assuming the worst. I prayed to see this person in a better way and the antagonism melted away.

    • Oh dear Esther, I can’t tell you how much that means to us! Thank you so much for sharing that you were able to apply what we wrote to your life situation in always striving to come from love! Your struggle is the same as all of ours.
      with love

  4. Merry Christmas, Maude and Phil
    I wanted to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed your newsletters of peace and hope and inspiration. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year. Take good care!

  5. Dear Maude and Phil, thank you for your wonderful newsletter. Good will in relationships is so important .., the intention and the belief in which we approach each other. It is certainly a great reminder to focus on loving connection. Mark and I had our 44th wedding anniversary and are more loving than ever before. Age, maturity, reading the Urantia Book, not feeling separated from the source and good will, help tremendously to enhance this loving connection. Don’t just react is very important and all your questions are awesome and your inner awareness is so inspiring. Much gratitude and love

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