Reading Corner

In our blog article on How to Avoid Loss of Intimacy, we emphasize prioritizing spending time together. Here are some articles that also speak to this topic.

Spend Time with your Partner for Relationship Success “Research has shown that one of the major reasons that relationships fail is due to lack of time spent together…. Every time you and your partner spend some time together you are shoring up the relationship against the times that you will hit a bump.”

Make time for your partner “According to a study by the Creighton Center for Marriage and Family, time is one of three problematic issues for couples in the first five years of marriage… Building “couple’s time” into your schedule can result in huge changes in how happy you are in your relationship.”

The importance of couples spending quality time together “As resentment and disconnect infiltrate marriages, feelings of loneliness emerge and couples perceive that they have suffered a great loss — their best friend,”

Time Together “I’m convinced that the single biggest contributor to the breakdown in relationships today is the fact that couples aren’t spending enough time together…. Everything else seems more important – careers, children, hobbies, community involvement, and personal pursuits. And when relationships aren’t attended to as they should be, trouble sets in.”

This week’s blog article was on How to Reach Agreement Without Compromise. Although we have a very different viewpoint than many of the people who write to this topic, here are some articles that are in consonance with our message.

Compromise: Is there an Alternative? “It all starts with the notion that what I perceive to be “true” is both real and complete – as if I had the smallest chance of knowing all there is to know about life”

Never Compromise: 3 Steps to Synergy in Your Relationship “When you compromise, you are giving up what feels important to you and this doesn’t always foster a sense of connection and cooperation in your relationship…. Writer and teacher Stephen Covey talks about the power of synergy…. Synergy, according to Covey, is all about being open to creating a solution that is even better than what either you or I propose. It is not about deciding whether “your way” or “my way” is best and then cobbling out some compromise in the middle. It is all about really hearing one another and creating a third way”

TO COMPROMISE OR NOT TO COMPROMISE: How to build sustainable relationships “Many popular psychologists, such as Dr. Phil, preach that compromise is the key to resolving relationship conflict and essential to building sustainable relationships. They view compromise as a “win-win” solution where both people get some of what they want. However, counsellors who hold this perspective tend to act more like arbiters than counsellors, pressing people to compromise regardless of the psychological issues that fuel people’s conflicts in the first place.”

We blogged this week on the importance of continuing to appreciate your partner and not taking taking them for granted. Here are some posts on the same subject that we think you’ll enjoy.

4 Tips to Stay Awake in Your Relationship “Do you ever feel your life is like Ground Hogs Day? You do the same thing day after day – get up, make the bed (maybe), shower, make breakfast (and lunch for the kids), go to work, come home, cook dinner (or order fast food), take the kids to sports, supervise homework, fall into bed; and then – – before you know it – – the alarm goes off and you are doing it again?”

What To Do When Your Partner Starts Taking You For Granted A long article with 16 therapists addressing this question; long, but worth reading to the end.

12 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Taking You For Granted This post is oriented towards couples who are dating “The honeymoon stage is over…sometimes one person starts to take the other person for granted without even really realizing it.”

We recently blogged on How a Peaceful  Relationship is Like Riding a Bicycle. Here are some more articles on having a peaceful relationship.

How to Have a Peaceful Marriage in a Chaotic World “Ultimately, Inner Peace is not something we create – it is something we tune into. We don’t have to conjure it up or manufacture it.”

A Peaceful Relationship or Keeping the Peace? “After we used the ideas stated below for several years we began to see that they were part of our lives and we didn’t have to stop and think about them so often.”

5 Rules for Relationship Peace “…the fight itself almost always related to the deeper issues of whether the partners felt understood or valued.”

Here’s a mix of articles on intention.

The Nature of Intentions in Relationships How important is intention in the growth and development of healthy relationships? Does the good stuff just happen by itself? Can we make our goals, our dreams, our lives, our relationships happen out of sheer will?

Do You Want to Have a Good Relationship? Of course everybody says yes. But do you intend to have a good relationship? What does that even mean?

Do You Want this Relationship to Work? Intention Is a Key to Success An important element in accepting your partner and finding a loving connection is your intention. You have to have the intention to find peaceful harmonious ways of being together, and this has to be something that is a guiding principle and a true value to you.

Transform Your Relationship by Assuming the Best Intentions I used to think he was out to get me. The man of my dreams was continually plotting to undermine my happiness in countless ways, all for some mysterious reason I couldn’t comprehend.