Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.


In our latest blog, we wrote about the traumatic events of this week and how to respond to them by choosing love over fear. Here are several articles about that as well as links to several worthy organizations working toward peaceful resolution.

Healing the political divide “With votes now tallied, and in some cases, electoral outcomes having been determined by extremely narrow margins and marked by legal challenges, there is no doubt that the political divide in the United States is a central trait of the country. And as this divide seems likely to continue to grow, for many of us it feels uncrossable. Yet psychological science suggests that it is both possible and imperative for members of our society to find common ground.”

Jack Kornfield on Sitting in Love Rather Than Fear “A dialogue on fear and love between Jack Kornfield and Catherine Ingram.
Jack Kornfield: …In the Buddhist teaching, one of the phrases for the sense of separateness, the illusion of separateness that we’re separate from the world is called “The body of fear” – the more separate we feel the more we fear the world because we feel that we’re somehow apart from it. And so to deal with fear is really deep and persistent – in some way love and fear are the opposite sides of the same coin. Love is that which expands beyond fear in some fashion.”

Building a House United “do our politics have to be demonizing? Does it have to bring out the worst in us? Do our politics have to destroy the goodwill of our society? Is the dehumanizing of our fellow Americans something we should accept? We do not accept this. At Braver Angels we do not accept this division. We reject the normalizing of this extreme polarization. We say no to the break down of political and social life that it brings. ”

What could you do in a violence-free society? “My Peace, Our Future brings together people from across the world to share their personal visions of peace — and what they dream of doing in a more just and equitable world, free from violent conflict. Leaders can help set the tone for this world transformed. It’s a choice that they often need to be reminded of, and that’s what this campaign is all about.”

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In this, the first blog of the new year, we each wrote about the importance of honesty in our relationship. Here are some other people writing about why this is so critical.

Why Honesty In Relationships Is Non-Negotiable & 7 Rules To Follow “Honesty is one of those things we intuitively know is a good thing, but we can really stumble a lot in trying to actually put it into practice. But when it comes to our relationships, having open and honest communication is necessary to creating a healthy, sustainable partnership. … Honesty is the quality of always speaking the truth and being totally authentic, straightforward, and transparent in our words and actions. It involves a few key practices: never lying, never hiding the truth, and never purposefully omitting or misdirecting people from the truth.”

5 Ways to Build Trust and Honesty in Your Relationship “Most of us agree that trust is an essential foundation on which to build a relationship. Despite the great things we say about being honest—that it’s “the best policy” or that “the truth shall set us free”—research tells us that we aren’t so great at it. According to studies by Bella DePaulo, people lie in one in five of their interactions. These lies aren’t only to strangers or peripheral figures—couples regularly deceive each other. DePaulo’s research showed that dating couples lie to each other about a third of the time, while married couples do so in about 1 in 10 interactions.”

7 reasons why honesty is important in relationships “Honesty is essential in healthy relationships. It has the power to build, empower and grow relationships. I will be sharing with you, what I believe are 7 reasons why honesty is important in relationships.”

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This week, we wrote about hopes for the new year and how important it is to have a positive attitude. Here are some inspiring writings to uplift you.

Why There’s Hope In 2021 “We’re finally about to leave this dreadful 2020 behind! This year was stacked with natural and man-made disasters, economic and mental collapse, bleeding healthcare and the untimely and unnecessary deaths of hundreds of thousands. No wonder we are all waiting for the year to end and find some peace of mind that it will all be over soon – and that 2021 will be better. And hope, indeed, is what we have.”

Column: Tonight is the night of new hope for the world “For every family that wishes it could be together as it was last year, in those pre-virus times, when you’d be able to hug and kiss each other and laugh without reservation. For all the elderly in nursing homes who’ve been isolated and ache to touch and hug their children. Don’t worry. You all will be together again with those you love. Because tonight is the night of new hope for the world.”

The Science of Success: Why Positive Thinking Matters “research has shown that positive emotions can help improve your work, your health, and your life, and they play a bigger role in helping you and your clients achieve success than you might think.”

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This week, we wrote about the balance between structure and spontaneity and how the latter is where life, creativity and growth occur. Here are some discussions about spontaneity in the time of Covid-19.

Has the coronavirus killed our spontaneity — or just reigned in our impulsivity? “The group text read: “Let’s barbecue on my back porch tonight.” It was a simple message, but full of meaning: An end to the worst of the COVID-19 lockdown, a return to life as we once knew it, a hope that we might indeed be able to enjoy this summer after all. But then the planning began. “Do you want to bring your own chairs?” “What about food? Should we just each provide our own?” Back and forth we all went, addressing in detail how we would manage spacing, eating, using the toilet. So much for spontaneity.”

Live in the Moment: Spontaneity Could Be Key To Happiness, Survey Suggests “They say the only constant in life is change, but many people do their best to avoid change as much as they can. Humans are naturally creatures of habit, but according to a new survey, perhaps we should all throw our day planners out the window. A recent poll of 2,000 Americans finds that people who consider themselves ‘spontaneous’ are 40% more likely to see themselves as a ‘happy person.'”

How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy During the Coronavirus Pandemic “You love your significant other, and both of you want to avoid the coronavirus involved in the global pandemic, and COVID-19, the disease it causes. So you’re isolating yourselves at home. After several weeks, you might find that all that extra togetherness is overwhelming. How do you maintain harmony and not drive each other crazy?”

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In our blog this week, we wrote about the difference between a disagreement and an argument and how to avoid escalation. Here are some angles on that.

A Discussion A Disagreement An Argument and a Fight “Most conversations can be put into one of four categories – a discussion, a disagreement, an argument, or a fight. Let’s look at what we mean.”

The Difference Between Conflict & Disagreement “Most of us can think about how conflict is different from disagreement. We have folks we can peacefully disagree with on certain issues and it doesn’t affect our relationship. But what is it that turns a difference of opinion in to an outright argument or nasty fight? Power.”

Marriage: Arguing vs. Disagreeing; Is there a difference between arguing and disagreeing? “Two people, no matter how much they love each other and care about each other, will see some issues from different viewpoints. It doesn’t mean that one is right and one is wrong. It means that you are different. You have different personalities and difference experiences. You will have different opinions.”

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