Successful Relationships Reading Corner
This week’s blog is about how to avoid compromise in your relationship. Here are some other writers’ takes on this topic.
How Compromise Is Actually Hurting Your Relationship (And What To Do Instead) “Compromise implies that both people have to give up something they want in order to come up with a solution that is tolerable for both. While this all sounds noble and selfless, I think compromise as a solution may do more harm than good. Viewing compromise as your ideal solution requires that we enter a mindset of need rather than empowerment. We assume all we can get is the bare minimum rather than asking for what we really want. We settle rather than flourish.”
Want a great marriage? Don’t compromise—try this instead “‘Don’t compromise yourself. You’re all you’ve got.’ – Janis Joplin. Janis’s fierce dedication to herself is potent advice. And I can’t think of anyone in need of such fierce dedication more than parents. Speaking from my own personal experience and from the work I do with couples in my couple therapy practice, I can say that the struggle is real. It is so easy to compromise ourselves for our kids or our partners and convince ourselves we’re sacrificing for a greater good. Yet repeatedly doing this can create serious problems down the line.”
Create a Successful Marriage: Don’t Compromise! “‘Compromise—no matter how difficult—is a necessary part of any successful, enduring marriage.’ I emphatically disagree. Not only is compromise NOT a recipe for success in relationships, but compromise is exactly why so many marriages fail. It’s true that we are all very different and that conflict often occurs because of these differences. That’s not going to change—we will always be unique. However, honoring differences and learning to explore what’s important to each other is part of what makes a relationship so rich, exciting, and surprising—and that’s what makes compromise so unappealing.”