Successful Relationships Reading Corner
This week, we wrote about why it’s important to treasure each person’s uniqueness in relationships. Here are a few posts we’ve written on this topic.
How Recognizing and Celebrating Uniqueness Helps Your Relationships “I was amazed by this experience as the relationship between Phil and I grew. Our values were deeply aligned and yet our way of expressing them was often quite different. I found this profoundly enriching. Here was an opportunity to see how the very same meanings and values could be differently enacted in the world. This greatly expanded my world view and understanding of what is possible. Understanding core values and at the same time realizing that they will be expressed differently by each person even if they match deeply, is a key to a peaceful conflict-free relationship. You can celebrate this variety in how they are enacted by your partner, and be enriched by their unique way of bringing your values to realization. What a gift!”
How to Embrace Differences, Not Trip Over Them “One of the biggest things to find a way to embrace within yourself is the fact that we are all unique; we are each one of a kind. Although we all share many similarities, we are all different. Many who write on the topic of relationships feel that this difference means that conflict is inevitable. From our own personal experience, we strongly disagree with this viewpoint. To change this propensity, it is necessary to learn to respond to the kind of differences our uniqueness creates in a way other than fear, conflict, feeling threatened, distancing, anger, or protectiveness. Start with relationships that are, or that you want to be, deep and close: friendships, partners, relatives. It is easier to accept these differences in those we feel close to. As you develop the experiences with them, you can move out toward those with whom you have less and less similarity.”
How To Deal With Differences In Your Relationships “An important part of looking at differences is to see their benefits. They bring diversity and broaden the possibilities available to you. They add to what you have, rather than taking away. They bring other ways to do things, see things, think about things. When you can relax and appreciate and enjoy those differences, you are expanding your view of what is possible and how to be in the world, and you can see that the two of you are more effective together than either one of you alone. Another aspect of differences is the pleasure that they offer.”