Reading Corner

This week’s blog article was on How to Reach Agreement Without Compromise. Although we have a very different viewpoint than many of the people who write to this topic, here are some articles that are in consonance with our message.

Compromise: Is there an Alternative? “It all starts with the notion that what I perceive to be “true” is both real and complete – as if I had the smallest chance of knowing all there is to know about life”

Never Compromise: 3 Steps to Synergy in Your Relationship “When you compromise, you are giving up what feels important to you and this doesn’t always foster a sense of connection and cooperation in your relationship…. Writer and teacher Stephen Covey talks about the power of synergy…. Synergy, according to Covey, is all about being open to creating a solution that is even better than what either you or I propose. It is not about deciding whether “your way” or “my way” is best and then cobbling out some compromise in the middle. It is all about really hearing one another and creating a third way”

TO COMPROMISE OR NOT TO COMPROMISE: How to build sustainable relationships “Many popular psychologists, such as Dr. Phil, preach that compromise is the key to resolving relationship conflict and essential to building sustainable relationships. They view compromise as a “win-win” solution where both people get some of what they want. However, counsellors who hold this perspective tend to act more like arbiters than counsellors, pressing people to compromise regardless of the psychological issues that fuel people’s conflicts in the first place.”

We blogged this week on the importance of continuing to appreciate your partner and not taking taking them for granted. Here are some posts on the same subject that we think you’ll enjoy.

4 Tips to Stay Awake in Your Relationship “Do you ever feel your life is like Ground Hogs Day? You do the same thing day after day – get up, make the bed (maybe), shower, make breakfast (and lunch for the kids), go to work, come home, cook dinner (or order fast food), take the kids to sports, supervise homework, fall into bed; and then – – before you know it – – the alarm goes off and you are doing it again?”

What To Do When Your Partner Starts Taking You For Granted A long article with 16 therapists addressing this question; long, but worth reading to the end.

12 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Taking You For Granted This post is oriented towards couples who are dating “The honeymoon stage is over…sometimes one person starts to take the other person for granted without even really realizing it.”

We recently blogged on How a Peaceful  Relationship is Like Riding a Bicycle. Here are some more articles on having a peaceful relationship.

How to Have a Peaceful Marriage in a Chaotic World “Ultimately, Inner Peace is not something we create – it is something we tune into. We don’t have to conjure it up or manufacture it.”

A Peaceful Relationship or Keeping the Peace? “After we used the ideas stated below for several years we began to see that they were part of our lives and we didn’t have to stop and think about them so often.”

5 Rules for Relationship Peace “…the fight itself almost always related to the deeper issues of whether the partners felt understood or valued.”

Here’s a mix of articles on intention.

The Nature of Intentions in Relationships How important is intention in the growth and development of healthy relationships? Does the good stuff just happen by itself? Can we make our goals, our dreams, our lives, our relationships happen out of sheer will?

Do You Want to Have a Good Relationship? Of course everybody says yes. But do you intend to have a good relationship? What does that even mean?

Do You Want this Relationship to Work? Intention Is a Key to Success An important element in accepting your partner and finding a loving connection is your intention. You have to have the intention to find peaceful harmonious ways of being together, and this has to be something that is a guiding principle and a true value to you.

Transform Your Relationship by Assuming the Best Intentions I used to think he was out to get me. The man of my dreams was continually plotting to undermine my happiness in countless ways, all for some mysterious reason I couldn’t comprehend.

This week, we blogged on How to Avoid Trouble in Your Relationship: Don’t Keep Score! Be sure to read it.

We also wrote a guest post at Digital Romance: How Making “Lists” Could Be HURTING Your Relationship “In relationships, people often silently add up their grievances on lists. These items can have a wide range of importance, from not getting a promised phone call to hurtful and angry words or actions. For many, the event gets swallowed but not forgotten. It goes on the little secret list in the back of the mind. ‘What’s the harm in that?’ you ask.”

Here are some other great articles on making lists and keeping score.

Why Keeping Score In Relationships Doesn’t Work “Keeping score is a ‘me-centered’ way of operating, by which you’re elevating your role in the relationship to a place of superiority. And if you’re ‘up,’ then your partner has only one place to land: down.”

The Problem With Keeping Score In A Relationship “Keeping score is a behavior that will quickly unravel a relationship. It begins innocently enough, but it ends with huge fights, lots of resentment and plenty of hostility.”

5 Relationship Lists You Must Make Lists of what is important to you can be a great help when forming a relationship. This article offers many important things to consider.