Reading Corner

In this week’s blog article we asked why core values are important in relationships. Here are some other authors with useful insights.

Why shared values are more important than shared interests “If you have shared values, regardless of your interests, your relationship has a good chance of success. On the other hand, if you have no shared values but lots of common interests, you might have a great time together for a while but when it comes to making decisions about marriage, children and careers, you could find that you lack the strong foundations that move you forward.”

What Core Values Mean to Love “When we don’t consciously define our core values, we let people, places or things outside of us sway our decisions. In love relationships, this shows up when we react or respond to the whims of our partner. We use our confusion, uncertainty and doubt to rationalize our partner’s bad behavior and question his actions, even though we know we deserve better.”

Understanding your core values in relationships (no they’re not your common interests) “One of the things that people are most confused about and that I get asked a lot of questions about, is the issue of ‘common interests’ and letting superficial things inadvertently get mixed in with your ‘core’ values.”

In this week’s blog article we wrote about how you can’t talk and listen at the same time. Other writers offer their suggestions for active listening.

Practicing Active Listening Can Improve Your Relationship “Often partners are convinced that they are excellent listeners. However, when asked, many partners are unable to give an adequate summary of what their partner was saying. Partners aren’t always conscious of their tendency to plan what they are going to say next.”

Attention Couples: Becoming a Skilled Listener and Effective Speaker “listening isn’t an innate ability all people possess; it’s a skill we need to cultivate. And it’s a critical one for couples, because the foundation of successful communication is being able to truly listen to each other, without ‘constructing a counter argument in your head'”

Listening–With Your Heart as Well as Your Ears “How often have you heard these statements? ‘You’re not listening to me!’… ‘Why don’t you let me finish what I’m saying?’… ‘If you only let me, I’ll tell you!’… ‘I may as well be talking to a brick wall!… ‘You just don’t understand!’… ‘But that’s not what I said!’ If you hear any of these comments coming from your partner, children, friends, or co-workers, perhaps it’s true that ‘you’re not listening’–really listening to the people who are important in your life.”

In this week’s blog article we wrote about how to make every day Valentines Day in your relationship. Other writers offer their suggestions.

Spread The Love! 10 Ways To Make Every Day Valentine’s Day “The importance of giving material things has been greatly over-emphasized. In the end, the greatest Valentine’s gift of all to the one you love is the gift of your time. Over the past 32 years, our marriage research in 48 countries on all seven of the continents of the world supports this concept.”

What Would Your Relationship Be Like If You Treated Your Partner Every Day Like It Was Valentine’s Day? “But relationships can stand the test of time. The ‘secret’ to keeping your partnership strong and healthy is to treat each day as if it were your anniversary or Valentine’s Day. Can you imagine what would happen if you made your relationship top priority? What shape would it be in if you both paid attention to all the small details every day?”

Relationship Rx — Make Everyday Valentine’s Day “Why wait for that one day a year to show and tell your sweetie how much you love them — especially a day when everybody and their grandmother expresses the same sentiments for their loved ones as well?”

In this week’s blog article we wrote about how to keep romance in your relationship. Here are some articles that offer ideas on how to do this.

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10 Keys to a Successful Romantic Relationship “According to psychologists Nathaniel Branden and Robert Sternberg, who have both researched and written about the challenges of romantic relationships, these little displays of interest and affection can be more important than all the ‘active listening’ and trust games in the world.”

KEEPING THE ROMANCE ALIVE “Giving each other a daily dose of what I call the 3 A’s—attention, appreciation and affection—are the critical factors in keeping any relationship alive with interest and desire.”

Keeping the Romance Alive “Intimate time together, honest communication and thoughtful acts of loving kindness are the fuel of great relationships. So, if you want to replace your fizzle with some sizzle, you’ll both need to move your priorities around, start talking more, and make a mutual commitment to keeping the romance thriving.”

In this week’s blog article we wrote about maintaining your sacred space. Here are some articles that cover various aspects of this topic.

Speaking the Love Language of Quality Time “A central aspect of quality time is togetherness. I do not mean proximity. Togetherness has to do with focused attention. A husband who is watching sports on television while he talks to his wife is not giving her quality time, because she does not have his full attention.”

Sacred Space at Home This article talks about making a physical location for a sacred space “The notion of creating a ‘Holy of Holies’ in a home—a room of one’s own—came to me while exploring the connection between architecture and spirituality. ”

Make time for your partner This article talks about making time when you have children “In this busy, chaotic world of daily activities, tasks and schedules, it is easy to forget that the person you chose to spend your life with is the person who can make your days brighter and the road ahead easier to travel. For most couples, the key to improving your relationship is to make it a priority to spend more time together.”