Successful Relationships Reading Corner

Successful Relationships Reading Corner

This week, we wrote about how to let conflicts go until you can talk without charge. Here are some articles from us on how to handle conflicts in your relationships.

How To Avoid Relationship Conflicts With One Little Word “This technique was designed to be used in situations where you are feeling responses like irritation, impatience, or anger in your relationships. The simple, yet very effective technique, is to ask yourself in such a situation, “What is important here?” This helps you to calm down and to think about where you want to put your emphasis in responding to a situation you are finding challenging. When I recounted this story, I unconsciously added a word to it. I said. “Stop, and ask yourself what is important here.” One of the women shared that hearing me say stop gave her something she could understand working with when things were getting heated in a relationship.”

How to Create Peace Instead of Conflict in Your Relationships “Current culture and leading relationship experts hold that conflict within relationships is inevitable, and that lack of conflict is a danger sign for a relationship. They say if you don’t have conflicts, it means that you are suppressing your emotions and heading for trouble. The conflict arises inevitably from innate differences between each person (see last week’s blog on this issue). There is a prevailing opinion that suggests that you can balance criticisms and injuries within a relationship by having at least five compliments for every criticism. We have a very different view about this.”

What Makes Up a Conflict-free Relationship? “Critical to having a peaceful conflict-free relationship is an attitude we refer to as total acceptance. Understanding that the other person is a full and separate individual, with different ways of expressing themselves and unique preferences, is a necessary foundation for peaceful relating. Total acceptance is the practical application of this understanding. It is an act of trust in the other, a belief in their positive intentions. Unfortunately, this is something that many people are not familiar with. This is an experience rather than a concept, and so it is something you must learn about through doing. How can you approach this?”

 

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