MAUDE: I was reading a note from Anna Drabik, one of my favorite relationship writers on Substack, about compromise. We had an exchange on the topic, which led Phil and me to revisit this subject and share what we feel …
There’s Only One Side in Peaceful Relationships—the Same Side Read more »
Maude is away with a friend on one of those adventures she described last week (hence the photo), so I’m here writing solo. The other night, as we were settling in for our evening’s entertainment, I said what I wanted …
For Peaceful Relationships, Share Your Opinions But Don’t Be Opinionated Read more »
PHIL: Our approach to writing about peaceful relationships is that we very much write about how we are rather than saying what you should do. We don’t know what you need to change to get here, but we know what …
The Art of Undefended Love — How to Create Truly Peaceful Relationships Read more »
PHIL: When we talk about peace with people who have not experienced it directly, they conceive of it as an absence. It has long been associated with death—the Latin, “Resquiescat in pace,” or R.I.P., stems from the eighth century. But …
MAUDE: Peaceful relationships are attractive. Once you have experienced the kind of deep calm and relaxation that such a connection provides, it is natural to want more. Developing these kinds of interactions through the many methods we outline in our …
How Peaceful Relationships Create the Freedom to Be Yourself Read more »
MAUDE: We wrote a post last week about dealing with strong negative or difficult reactions to the decisions, actions and behaviors of others, most particularly those with whom you have deep relationships. We suggested turning inside and looking at your …
How to Avoid Reacting With Blame and Anger in Your Relationships Read more »
Hi, Phil and Maude here. We had a conversation the other evening about a different way to respond to the variance between each of us. We like, recorded it on a phone and, um, kind of cleaned it up a …
A New Way to Look at Differences in Relationships Read more »
The most important element to creating and maintaining peaceful relationships is that both people share peace as a central Core Value. This is not having thoughts of peace in some theoretical sense; it is experiencing peace as a visceral reality.
We have a direct experience of a peaceful relationship, we’ve had it since our early days, and it has remained completely consistent. It is so different from our previous relationships that we feel compelled to write about it. Our message is that it exists, therefore it is possible.
Your core values affect everything that you do and decide, including how you feel and respond to other people. Having matching or complementary core values with another person is necessary for a peaceful relationship.