We are completely undefended with each other because we both know that neither of us is ever going to attack the other. We are not in competition. There is never any energy emanating from a desire for power or dominance.
Doing is not the opposite of being; doing is activity, and it is when activity ceases that being comes into focus. We need a balance of the two. The problem comes when doing becomes so habitual that we never stop.
The path to contentment is to have the same feelings for others that you want for yourself, which is rather like the Golden Rule. It creates a positive feedback loop: the more content we both are, the more we trust, accept and love each other.
An element that permeates our relationship is that when we are together we are fully present with each other. We are not only there in the physical sense, but also mentally and emotionally. Feeling connected to another depends on each being present with their core self.
At their core, all deep relationships are an opportunity to be real with each other; both with the other person, and with yourself. You get a wonderful feeling from connections that have this as their basis. Equally, you are aware when it is lacking and feel something is missing in the relationship.
We share our direct experience of a peaceful harmonious relationship with the hopes that it will contribute to your participation with us in spreading peace one relationship at a time.
Fill your life with many forms of play mixed into the fabric of your relationships. The more you balance work and play, effort and ease, being and doing, the happier and the more effective you and your relationships will be.
To be truly present you must acknowledge what is and accept what is. The moment you move into wanting something to be different, you are no longer experiencing what is. Any pushing or pulling away is stepping out of the present.
If you’re defended, you can’t get closer than a certain distance from another person. This isn’t a problem in day-to-day interactions with people, but it affects your closer relationships. But how can you remain undefended if your partner criticizes you or makes unreasonable demands on you?
PHIL: A dear friend has been badly shaken by the loss of her cat of 15 years. I had a cat called Bert who died unexpectedly, and I was in grief for months. This is something I have heard time …
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