What’s at the Core of Your Relationship?
We’ve talked about the importance of having aligned core values for a successful relationship. Breaking this down further, you can think of core values at two levels: universal and individual.
Universal core values are based on the understanding that we are all related, all equal, all brothers and sisters.
Quite a lot of your reality is your internal landscape of thoughts, desires, goals and views. The same is true for everyone else, hard though that may be to fully appreciate. Every person has their own internal world, just as rich to them as yours is to you.
Understanding this is critical to respecting the sacrosanct nature of every personality. It helps you to understand why you should not impose your will on any other – not try to manipulate, change, better or in any way interfere with the uniqueness of another individual. Respect for the other, honoring the difference, and celebrating the difference is critical to any successful relationship.
We regard this as a universal core value. Also called the Golden Rule, every major religion and philosophy has a version of this rule.
Individual core values are what people see as important in their daily lives and in their relationships. They will vary according to each person, reflecting, for example, choices of religion, philosophy, politics and relationship to the environment. They come from our background, families, communities, and various other elements of the outside world. As we grow, have our own experiences, and come to know ourselves better, these individual core values will align more and more with universal values.