Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

By Posted on Posted in Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with , , ,

This week, we wrote about how recognizing and celebrating uniqueness helps your relationships. Here are some different perspectives on the issue of uniqueness in relationships.

Is There Space For Both Personalities In Your Relationship? “Most couples do not understand or appreciate the differences in both partners’ personalities. As a result, they fight over trying to change each other, rather than leveraging each partner’s unique personality to build a strong and healthy relationship.”

Intimate communication through co-creating uniqueness “Dr John Stewart proposes that people can fulfil the deep human need for connection with others in dialogic conversations. At the heart of this process lies the concept of individual ‘uniqueness’. This can be co-constructed by the partners in dialogic conversation, as each takes turns sharing unique aspects of themselves and helping the uniqueness of the other to emerge. Getting to know the other person as a unique human being goes beyond empathy, and enables a sense of intimacy and an enriched relationship based on understanding individual differences.”

Embracing Uniqueness in Marriage: The Key to a Fulfilling Relationship “Marriage is a beautiful union of two individuals who come together to share their lives, dreams, and aspirations. While it’s a journey filled with love and companionship, it’s also a path paved with unique qualities, experiences, and perspectives that each partner brings into the relationship. In the world of marriage, no two people are identical, and therein lies the beauty of it all. Understanding and celebrating the uniqueness of each spouse can be the cornerstone of a happy and enduring marriage.”

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This week, we wrote about why core values are important in all your relationships. This is a subject that many people do not consider, and yet it is so vital to relationships. Here are some writers that have covered it.

Key values in a relationship: Why are they important? “What does “core values” mean? They are your moral North Star: a set of fundamental personal beliefs and principles that establish your standard of behavior and influence how you see the world. When living in the rosy glow of a new relationship, it can feel natural to let your needs slide a little or confuse affection for compatibility. But over time, if you and your new significant other(s) don’t share key values, the incongruity can become detrimental to your relationship.”

Understanding Your Core Values in Relationships (No They’re Not Your Common Interests) “One of the things that people are most confused about and that I get asked a lot of questions about, is the issue of ‘common interests’ and letting superficial things inadvertently get mixed in with your ‘core’ values. Over the past few days I’ve been talking about value and values in relationships, and in this post, I put a clear division between the nice to have stuff that doesn’t actually cause your relationship to endure unless you have the ‘core’ values covered off.”

6 Important Values in a Relationship to Look For “Our morals and values make up a key part of who we are. Values in a relationship are a key part of compatibility. Even though several factors go into finding the right person for you, finding someone who aligns with your morals and values in a relationship — that’s the real test. Our relationship’s core values affect everything from daily decision-making to long-term life plans. Making sure you’re on the same page in terms of core values will help you and your romantic partner build a fulfilling, healthy relationship.”

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By Posted on Posted in Our Process, Presence, Reading, Relationship differences, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with , , , ,

This week, we wrote about the five fundamentals of peaceful relationships. Here are three articles that talk about different aspects of these themes.

Equality in Relationships: Fostering Balance and Respect “While the concept of equality may vary in different relationships, it commonly encompasses the principles of fairness, open communication, and empathy. Equality in relationships goes beyond just the surface level. It requires a genuine effort to recognize and appreciate each other as individuals with unique perspectives and experiences. It means valuing each other’s opinions, choices, and contributions, regardless of societal norms or expectations. When both partners actively strive for equality, it creates a solid foundation for a healthy and fulfilling relationship.”

Honor & Respect Are Essential To Marriage “Building a bridge to connect will draw you closer to your partner, not judgment and harsh attitudes. Showing honor and respect will move you away from destructive attitudes toward your partner and help build and maintain a healthy relationship. Honor measures a person’s integrity, ethics, and values, such as honesty, compassion, and kindness. Honor is at the center of who we are as humans and how we interact with others, and it strongly influences our lives and choices.”

I respect and honor my partner’s individuality and uniqueness “It is important to recognize and appreciate the individuality and uniqueness of your partner. Each person has their own set of experiences, beliefs, and values that make them who they are. By respecting and honoring these qualities, you are showing your partner that you value and accept them for who they are. When you acknowledge your partner’s individuality, you are also creating a space for open communication and understanding. You are allowing them to express themselves freely without fear of judgment or criticism. This can lead to a deeper level of intimacy and connection in your relationship.”

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This week, we wrote about how to create peaceful relationships by balancing your differences. Most of these articles are about differences in couples’ relationships. However, the same can apply to all relationships.

How to Stay Together When You Are Different From Each Other “The strongest relationships are the ones in which both partners can be themselves. Intending to change the other person or dramatically changing yourself to fit someone else’s ideals dooms couples to failure. When two people have beliefs or habits that differ too much, it creates friction. For example, if one partner is devoutly religious and the other is an all-out atheist, it might be difficult for the couple to find common ground on the way that the universe functions. When a neat-freak has to put up with the habits of a slob, there will be arguments. Opposites may attract, but they don’t always have staying power.”

Exploring Similarities and Differences in Relationships! “Have you ever sat there and just thought about both how different you are from your partner, but also about the common ground you share? Have you wondered if the differences could break you? Do you wonder if your attraction to your partner is because of the similarities or the differences? If so; these are not uncommon questions people think about, especially as relationships are forming. These types of questions also may come up if some rocky ground has been forming in the relationship over time. While relationships can evolve and dissolve over time, today we are going to explore how relationships tend to thrive when we focus on the commonalities or lack thereof.”

How to balance responsibilities in your relationship “You look around and see each thing that needs to be done: laundry, food, errands, and you do them, because, well, they need to get done! Time passes, and slowly you start feeling more and more frustrated and angry: “Why isn’t my partner doing any of this? Why is it always me?” You begin to resent your partner for not helping more, and it’s easy to start believing they merely don’t care that these things need to be done and don’t care about your sanity.”

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This week, we wrote about how to find your shared reality and create peaceful relationships. When we talk about this, we are talking about something that is a reality. In that, we differ from these articles which use the term in a different context.

Psychologists identify “shared reality” as a key component of close relationships “New research in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology indicates that a shared sense of reality plays an important — but overlooked — role in social connections. The findings help explain what makes new acquaintances feel like they “click” when they first meet, and also why romantic couples and close friends feel like they share a common mind.”

Shared reality: This psychological factor might be key to your success “Shared reality refers to the perception of sharing inner states – feelings, beliefs, or concerns – with others regarding the world. This concept goes beyond mere liking or closeness in relationships. It involves creating a common understanding of external events, people, and objects, which is crucial for navigating and succeeding in the world. Instrumental others refers to individuals in our lives who significantly aid or facilitate our ability to achieve our goals. These can be mentors, colleagues, friends, family members, or any other key figures who actively contribute to our journey towards success.”

The Reality of What Makes People Click “According to Columbia University psychologist Maya Rossignac-Milon, the theory of shared reality suggests that we are most likely to feel closer to each other when we turn our mutual attention to something beyond ourselves. That’s exactly what happened to the Ju/’hoan. No fire (or shared reality) and their conversations were superficial. With fire (or a shared reality) and conversation elevated, causing connections to thrive. Shared reality is the third party in any social connection.”

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