Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

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This week, we asked how you can delight in the differences in your relationships. Here are some articles discussing different aspects of this topic.

Why You Should Embrace the Differences In Your Marriage “Having differing opinions, unique interests and your own individual tastes makes your partnership that much greater! Your differences help maintain balance in your home and turns the two of you into a powerhouse couple. The key to making this work is embracing your differences. And recognizing their ability to do good things for your marriage and your family.”

Rebuilding Emotional Safety: How to Accept Differences in a Relationship “In addition to using soft start-ups and practicing fair fighting, another effective tool to establish a healthy emotional environment and safety within a relationship is accepting your partner for who they are. When stress is high or conflict is prominent, it can be easy to criticize your partner or point out their flaws. However, for long-term relationship success, the practice of acceptance and accepting your partner for all that they are promotes understanding, respect, and relationship success.”

How To Embrace Individuality And Authenticity In Marriage “Authenticity in relationships means being true to yourself and expressing your honest feelings and thoughts. It means being truly yourself. Being vulnerable and creating a safe space for open communication. Authenticity builds trust and connection more than pretending or wearing mythical masks. In any marriage, you’ll find differences that make each partner unique. These differences aren’t obstacles but opportunities for growth and understanding.”

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This week, we said that you have the power to spread peace in all your relationships. Here is some practical advice on how to do that.

4 Small Ways to Spread Peace for a Better World “World peace just won’t happen until we grow inner peace on an individual level. One person at a time. If you want to start building a better, kinder world from the inside out, here are four small ways to spread peace every single day. It’s the best place to start. One of the best ways to spread peace in the world is to recognize your own capacity to bring peace into the little things you do every day.”

How to Find Inner Peace and Happiness in the Chaos “Inner peace is possible, and you don’t need to meditate on a mountaintop or break the bank for a wellness retreat in order to find it. Carving out time to relax is wonderful, but it’s amid the frantic pace of everyday life when we need serenity the most.”

The Dalai Lama’s Lessons on How to Build Peace “Violence leads to more violence, if you want to build, you must be committed to non-violence. Only through compassion and inner peace, can one spread peace in the world. Inner peace leads to a peaceful individual and then this peaceful individual can build a peaceful family, then a peaceful community, then a peaceful world.”

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This week, we wrote about how to recognize that each relationship is a unique treasure. Here are some articles that describe describe the current thinking in this area.

“We-Talk” Is Linked to Happier and Healthier Relationships “‘I-talk’ refers to the frequent use of first-person singular pronouns, such as ‘I,’ ‘me,’ and “mine,” when writing or speaking. “We-talk” refers to the frequent use of first-person plural pronouns, such as ‘we,’ ‘us,’ and ‘ours.’ Earlier this year, a study from the University of Arizona reported that excessive ‘I-talk’ was an accurate linguistic marker for the likelihood that someone was more prone to general distress and a wide array of negative emotions. (For more, see: ‘Stressed Out? Too Much ‘I-Talk’ Could Be Part of the Problem.’)”

Why autonomy in a relationship is important (+ ways to nurture it) “Humans are social creatures who yearn for belonging and support. But you also must prioritize your own needs and goals to feel like you’re bringing your most authentic self to each relationship. Creating the right balance between reliance and autonomy is tricky and often starts with your relationship with yourself. But fostering autonomy in your relationships might just be the key to enjoying healthy connections.”

The “We” of Healthy Relationships “When couples make a commitment to each other, there is often a transition in how the individuals speak. Instead of ‘I’ did this or that, it becomes ‘we’ did this or that. Or ‘we’ think thus and so. This is not a mere grammatical change. It reflects a profound shift in the self of each member of the couple. That is, the partner becomes a part of the self. This is described in self-expansion theory or the inclusion of other in the self (IOS).”

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In this week’s blog, we wrote about why respect and equality are so important in your relationships. Here are some writers’ thoughts on both these areas.

What is Respect in a Relationship? “At its core, respect functions as a multi-dimensional principle that underpins effective relationships across all contexts–be they romantic, familial, or friendly. True respect involves much more than just superficial pleasantries or simply treating others how you would want to be treated.”

How to Build Respect in a Relationship “Whether you’re in a relationship or not, your partner is a human being with their own opinions, passions, and beliefs. If you’re trying to change, control, or dismiss this reality, you’re not respecting or honoring your partner. In a loving relationship, there must be respect, and that starts with yourself. Self-respect is essential to understanding your boundaries, what you want from your partner, and what you’re willing to compromise on.”

Talking To My Partner: Why Understanding the Difference Between Equity and Equality in Your Relationship or Marriage is Key “There has been a cultural shift where more and more people are turning their attention to matters of equality. And, while fighting for equality is, in general, a great endeavor and one that, in many cases, has been long overdue, it’s important to remember what the difference between “equity” and “equality” is and, in the case of marriages, why “equality” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. In fact, far too many couples are struggling in their relationships because their attention is hyper-focused on making everything equal, which, in turn, leads to scorekeeping, contempt, and other corrosive thought patterns and behaviors.”

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This week, we wrote about what we have learned about peace and harmony through our relationship. Here are some other blogs we have written that expand on different aspects of having a peaceful, harmonious relationship.

Why You Benefit From Both Separation and Connection in Your Relationships “This is a perfect example of what we refer to as one of the cornerstones of harmonious peaceful relationships, the element of individuality within a relationship; the trick of remaining an individual while being in union. This same applies in various degrees to all relationships, often within families and even friendships. The more you know yourself, the easier it is to practice the respect and honoring of others’ individuality.”

Total Acceptance From the Heart is How You Create Peace in Your Relationship “But I don’t want to convey the message that a successful relationship requires a long apprenticeship, because what Maude and I have is an attitude, and I see no reason why it cannot be adopted by anyone at any age. It starts from the understanding that we are two completely separate individuals. My desires, pleasures, thoughts and worries are not hers, even though there is much overlap. It is where they don’t overlap that the differences stand out.”

What are the Characteristics that Create a Sense of Peace in Relationships? “When your relationship is peaceful and harmonious, you remain connected whether you are together or apart. There is never any sense of disconnection. With full acceptance (pretty much a prerequisite of a peaceful relationship), you never feel a need to leave in order to protect your individual identity. Neither does your partner, so disconnection never occurs, and the struggle of reconnecting is not necessary.”

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