Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

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In our blog this week, we wrote about the difference between a disagreement and an argument and how to avoid escalation. Here are some angles on that.

A Discussion A Disagreement An Argument and a Fight “Most conversations can be put into one of four categories – a discussion, a disagreement, an argument, or a fight. Let’s look at what we mean.”

The Difference Between Conflict & Disagreement “Most of us can think about how conflict is different from disagreement. We have folks we can peacefully disagree with on certain issues and it doesn’t affect our relationship. But what is it that turns a difference of opinion in to an outright argument or nasty fight? Power.”

Marriage: Arguing vs. Disagreeing; Is there a difference between arguing and disagreeing? “Two people, no matter how much they love each other and care about each other, will see some issues from different viewpoints. It doesn’t mean that one is right and one is wrong. It means that you are different. You have different personalities and difference experiences. You will have different opinions.”

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By Posted on Posted in Peace, Presence, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating No Comments

In our blog this week, we wrote about the fact that there is nowhere to be but here. We discuss being present with the current stresses of COVID-19 and politics. Here are some articles dealing with these issues.

Nurturing our relationships during the coronavirus pandemic “At a time when we all face uncertainty and worry about coronavirus, such changes in our relationships are probably all the harder to cope with. So it’s worth trying to be extra patient and understanding, both with each other and also ourselves. To do that, we need people around us and ourselves to be aware of how what we do can affect each other. Some of our relationships are likely to be strained – but for the good of our communities, we should stay at home through that.”

Mindfulness: How It Can Help Amid the COVID-19 Pandemic “To say that COVID-19 has been an emotional roller coaster is an understatement. While you’re busy juggling working at home, homeschooling your children, and disinfecting your groceries, your mind may be playing a constant chatter of worry on a loop. “What’s going to happen with my retirement savings?” “What if I lose my job and health insurance?” “How will I make my mortgage payment?” And the ultimate fear: “What if I develop a cough, fever, shortness of breath, or other symptoms of the disease?” Now, for a moment, try to forget all of that. Breathe in and out a few times. If your mind wanders, just notice that, accept that your mind has wandered, and refocus on your breathing.”

Peace Of Mind During The Pandemic: Finding The Path To Happiness Through Being Present “Pre-COVID-19, living in the present moment was more of a “nice to have.” For those who could do it, there was compelling evidence that it was a major contributor to achieving success and happiness. Today we are in the midst of the worst pandemic in global history, resulting in the largest social and economic shutdown in our lifetime, and the stressors affecting each of us are more intense than we have ever experienced.”

 

By Posted on Posted in Love, Peace, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating No Comments

Our blog this week was about responding with love, not fear. Here are some article written on that topic.

Choosing Love Not Fear “The choice to reject fear and choose love can feel like something that only applies to moments of crisis, when we’re leaving a marriage, starting a new business, preparing to climb Mount Everest. But in truth, the opportunity to choose love and reject fear presents itself in the smallest moments of life, and specifically, in relationships with those closest to us. Love over fear is a choice every time someone tells us something about ourselves or has an experience of us that we don’t want to hear.”

Is Fear What’s Really Blocking You? Choosing Love Over Fear “I talk about ‘choosing love over fear’ a lot. In fact, these words make up one of my favorite daily mantras: I choose to let love in and fear out. It wasn’t always like this though. Before I was ready to dig deep and really look at (or even be aware of) how my inner world shaped my outer world, I would have thought you were a little nutty, if you told me to ‘choose love over fear.'”

Choose Love Not Fear And Discover You ARE Love “I’m sure you’ve heard ‘choose love not fear’ before. You’ll find it within just about any spiritual path you explore. Intuitively, we KNOW we will be far happier if we follow it. However, when we are in the thick of things in our daily lives, it sometimes feels impossible to do. Therefore, I want to share a ‘bridge’ that I’ve discovered to help you choose love (and therefore, happiness).”

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This week, we wrote about peace in our relationship and how the same principles apply in the world. Here are some very insightful articles about the importance of peace in our lives.

How to Bring Peace of Mind Into Your Day-to-Day Routine “The holiday hubbub: family gatherings, office parties, frenetic shopping, and endless eating. Between the constant conversation and the unceasing celebration, the season can overwhelm us — if we let it. Busyness and socialization can easily engulf us. However, we have a choice. We can let a busy time, crisis, or event overtake our time, attention, and balance. Or, we can thoughtfully and deliberately use small moments of peacefulness to point our hearts and brains towards an essential focus: an awareness of the present and attention to our peace of mind.”

How we can maintain our inner peace (while the world goes crazy) “Everyday, we’re confronted with people that make us angry; people that make us want to argue. You might set out with the best intentions for a day, but you spend three minutes on public transport and — boom — you’re in an expletive-fueled Twitter rant and you’re ready to burn the world to the ground…before 9 o’clock! It can be hard to maintain our cool when we’re living in a world that feels like it’s packed full of annoyances and bitter people, but it’s crucial to maintain this state for our physical and mental well-being.”

10 Ways to Have Peaceful, Loving Relationships “…this is not a post about romance. It’s about any relationship—with your brother, your mother, your coworker, or your friend. Relationships are not easy. They mirror everything we feel about ourselves. When you’ve had a bad day, the people around you seem difficult. When you’re not happy with yourself, your relationships seem to be lacking. If you’ve ever gotten in a fight only to find yourself wondering what you were really upset about, this post may help you.”

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This week, we wrote about finding mutuality in relationships. Here are some other thoughts on this topic. The first link is both academic and perceptive.

Movement Toward Mutuality “RCT suggests that constructive movement or positive change in relationship (a.k.a., growth) depends on three essential, inseparable factors: mutual empathy, mutual empowerment, and movement toward mutuality”

The 3 core skills that every person needs for healthy romantic relationships “‘We may know what a healthy relationship looks like, but most people have no idea how to get one — and no one teaches us how to do so.’ That’s what Joanne Davila, a professor of psychology and the director of clinical training at Stony Brook University in Stony Brook, New York, contends in a TEDxSBU talk”

Deciding together: Can we be strong and independent, and yet make mutually satisfying decisions as partners? “What I have witnessed in a lot of unhappy relationships is that two people come together to live a happy life but they don’t know how to establish and maintain a collaborative relationship! So, now that they are together, they bring in to the relationship, their separate individual lives with their independent decision-making styles they have had before their togetherness…”

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