Reading Corner

In this week’s blog we wrote about the importance of personal space in a relationship. Here are several articles with personal stories about that.

Forget sex, the secret to a long-lasting relationship is space “When our daughter was six months old and we were struggling with the pressures of being new parents, my partner Stephen asked me if he could join a mountaineering expedition to Pakistan.”

Suffocating in a Relationship? “Space issues plague just about every couple at one time or another. For many, it’s an ongoing source of contention. The most common sticking points are how much time to spend together, and how much physical affection feels right to each partner. But regardless of the details of the dispute, the same question is at the core of most of these conflicts: Where does the “us” end and the “I” begin? Experts agree that couples need to find a balance between togetherness and individuality.”

Why Space in a Relationship Is NOT a Bad Thing “When I was younger, I was guilty of smothering my boyfriends. I would jump into a relationship and leave me behind in the process. I would engage in their interests and activities, and forget to pursue my own path in life. I was always unhappy during these relationships. Now I know that when you are not being true to yourself and following your life purpose, you can’t feel anything but unhappy!”

In this week’s blog we wrote about the small things in your relationship that might be overlooked. Here are several articles about the little things that count.

8 Little Things You Can Do to Strengthen Your Relationship “…little things could enhance your relationship in many ways: They can increase intimacy and are non-verbal ways to express your love. They’re also simple ways to show your significant other some gratitude and can help strengthen your bond. Here are eight ways to turn a good relationship into one that is even more exciting and passionate.”

The Little Things That Matter In Every Relationship “In this self-centered world, it’s hard to keep a romantic relationship going strong. Break-ups happen often for no reason at all, or a reason that could have been overcome if only there was a will to do so. Sometimes, it’s the small things that keeps a couple together for a long time. Here are 10 little things that matter in every relationship.”

Relationship tip: It’s the little things that count “there are eight little things that can make a big difference in a marriage to keep the spark ignited…. a few small actions practiced by couples daily can be a game changer for the better.”

In this week’s blog we write about making time for your relationship. Here are some good, and individually different, articles on this.

The Secret to Finding Time for Your Relationship “Time is a mystery. When we’re young, we have all the time in the world. When we’re married with kids, we never have enough time. When the nest is empty, we wonder where the time went.”

NO WONDER YOU DON’T LOVE EACH OTHER “How much time will you spend with your spouse today? An hour? Thirty minutes? Five minutes? How much quality, one-on-one time will you spend with your spouse that does not revolve around the kids, work, or managing day-to-day life? None? Well no wonder you don’t love each other any more.”

When Mates “Don’t Have Enough Time” Confront the Real Problems “This article proposes the real reasons many committed couples ‘can’t find enough time’ to nourish their relationship, and what can be done to improve that.”

This week’s blog asks if you’re losing your identity in a relationship. Here are some thoughts to this topic.

How to Be With Someone But Still Be Yourself “But that feeling of merging may contribute to you feeling like you’re losing your identity—or losing yourself in the relationship. When two become one, there’s beauty to that. A reciprocal relationship celebrates and encourages your unique sense of self within it. But that process usually doesn’t happen cleanly, and you may start to fear that your independent self will be annihilated.”

5 Things You Can Do To Avoid Losing Your Identity In The Relationship “A recent study from the University of Liverpool in the U.K. found that of the men and women who had entered into a married or cohabiting relationship for the first time during the study, many noted they experienced a loss of their single identities, specifically after moving in with their partners.”

7 Ways to Tell if You’re Losing Yourself in Your Relationship “Sometimes our relationship can lead us to lose confidence in ourselves, stop doing the things that are important to us, compromise our lives for our partner and sometimes our personality even starts to change.”

This week’s blog is on the paradox of intimacy and separateness in a relationship. Here are some interesting writings on this topic.

The Paradox of Intimacy in a Healthy Marriage “To many of us, the struggle for intimacy may seem just as paradoxical. Most of us want to be intimate, to feel emotionally connected with another. At the same time, we want to be independent and self-sufficient. This conflict and tension is at the core of what it means to be human.”

How to balance intimacy and autonomy in your relationship “A common relationship difficulty for couples is managing the balance between their need for connection versus their need for autonomy. Partners want to be both attached to their mate as well as detached for self-identity. How well partners succeed in honoring each other’s needs for togetherness vs. separateness greatly impacts their individual and relationship satisfaction.”

Closeness and Separateness “There are two basic human needs that feature in intimate relationships: the need for belonging and connectedness and the need for individual freedom and separateness. Sometimes we seem to have to sacrifice one for the sake of the other. Yet in a relationship that thrives both needs can be fulfilled.”