We keep cut flowers in the house and carry them up to decorate the bedroom at night. A morning conversation: “We need to bring the flowers down.” “I’ve done it already.” This is a teeny example of how we work …

In a Successful Relationship You Have to Be Cooperative Read more »

There’s more to active listening than usually gets discussed. We bumped up against this recently, while working on a Secret Project. We were talking, and both of us felt interrupted by the other. We’ve occasionally had this experience of being …

You Need to Balance Talking and Listening Read more »

Both life and relationships need a balance between planning and going with the flow. This is an important part of our lives and the lives of our relationships. Yet how do we do both at the same time? People differ …

How to Balance Structure and Flow in Your Relationship Read more »

This week, Maude has been away each night taking care of the grandchildren, and she recently took one of them up to the Bay area for a week. None of this put a ripple in our relationship. We have a …

How to Blend Connection and Separation in Your Relationship Read more »

The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus …

How to Be Both Together and Separate in Your Relationship Read more »

In last week’s blog post we discussed the importance of truly recognizing that in any relationship, there is a person other than one’s self present: “We feel that to truly develop a successful intimate relationship, you have to acknowledge and …

Communication and Individuality in a Relationship Read more »

We try to write and teach about things that come from our direct experience, rather than from theories of relationships. As often happens, we went to breakfast this Friday morning to choose a blog topic. Maude suggested tone of voice, …

What Overlooked Things are Important in a Successful Relationship Read more »