PHIL: Listening. We think that if we hear all the words, we are listening, but what happens is that the words fire off all kinds of thoughts in our head – responses, word associations, old feelings – and this can …
The Importance of Learning How to Truly Listen in Your Relationships Read more »
PHIL: Maude posted a meme on Facebook: “Be loving today – you can be right tomorrow” that generated an unusually enthusiastic response. Why were people so taken with this attitude? Let’s first consider why we like to be right. We …
PHIL: Maude and I have taken compromise to mean giving something up in order to get something else – a form of trading that inevitably involves losses – but on a recent course we gave, one participant said “it’s OK …
Why a Positive Attitude is Important to Reach a Successful Compromise Read more »
PHIL: A New York Times opinion writer just wrote: I want to normalize significant periods of confusion, exhaustion, grief and unfulfillment in marriage. Tish Harrison Warren She referenced an earlier Times article: We need to swap the Romantic view for …
How Hard is it to Have Harmony in Your Relationships? Read more »
MAUDE: There is an incomparable pleasure to be found in seeking and creating mutual solutions. The very act of embarking down a path together where the adventure of mutuality awaits you, brings an experience of your connection to the forefront. …
Why Creating Mutual Solutions in Your Relationships Brings Peace and Joy Read more »
PHIL: In society, we hide our true selves. We put on our public face; we don’t say how rude that was or where to shove that job. Maybe these social graces are necessary for society to work, or maybe they …
Why it is Important to be Honest and Share Your Truth in Relationships Read more »
PHIL: Does a hydrogen molecule exist? Yes; it’s made of two hydrogen atoms and has an existence over and above its two atoms. A single hydrogen molecule in a room is not the same as two hydrogen atoms at opposite …
What are the Characteristics that Create a Sense of Peace in Relationships? Read more »
PHIL: The tensions in a relationship can arise from different wants, needs or values. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a good starting point for thinking about needs. At the lowest level, there is no compromise: food, air and water are …
Why Looking at Wants, Needs and Values is so Important for Your Relationship Read more »
You can have a relationship without arguments. That may sound like a fairy-tale to you, but it’s not, because that is the way we live, and you can, too. We still disagree at times over what to do or what …
How to Avoid Arguments and Resolve Disagreements in Relationships Read more »
Respect is almost an old fashioned word. We don’t speak of it often. And yet, it is one of the cornerstones of happy loving relationships. It is what we offer when we accept another’s individuality. Not just accepting, but honoring …
Why You Need Respect to Have a Happy, Loving Relationship Read more »