Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

By Posted on Posted in Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with , , ,

This week, we said that fearless truth is one of the important threads of any peaceful relationship. Here are some articles talking about truth and honesty in relating.

A Step-By-Step Guide to Fearless Communication “The first step to recognizing your communication barriers is to take a closer look at the lessons you learned in your earliest relationships (e.g., parents, friends, early significant others). Think about what messages you received on what was okay/not okay to talk about, did others’ needs take precedence over yours, was your voice (thoughts and feelings) heard, etc.? Once you have reflected a bit on what you learned about communication, think about how you see these early lessons playing out in your relationships as an adult.”

10 Ways to Speak Your Truth in the Relationship “What does speaking your truth mean? To speak the truth in love could mean expressing how you are feeling about your relationship or perhaps your work or friendship. It could also include voicing your opinion about something you feel strongly about or sharing your story and revealing past problems that may have been difficult or painful.”

Truth Telling = Be Fearless “‘Speak the truth, even if your voice shakes’ is one of my favorite quotes. It captures the angst associated with truth-telling. Standing in your truth requires real courage. Unfortunately, it feels like all too often, truth-telling, honesty, and transparency are not valued. Additionally, listening, hearing, and responding to truth can be even more challenging for many of us.”

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By Posted on Posted in Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with ,

This week, we wrote about how to use relationship disagreements in a positive way. It is hard to find matching articles because most of them are about how conflict is good. Here are three articles that understand why it is not necessary.

Disagreements Are Not Conflicts “While lots of couples, and the people who advise them, use disagreement and conflict interchangeably; I believe doing so ignores important differences between these two types of interactions. The defining thing about a disagreement is that you and your partner are talking to each other. And because you are talking to each other, you can negotiate a resolution to the disagreement. You can look for a win-win outcome. Most importantly, after the disagreement, you are both still talking to each other. In contrast, when you and your spouse are in conflict, you are making assumptions about each other and the feelings you have toward each other are negative and strong.”

7 Ways Happy Couples Deal with Disagreements Differently “Every couple disagrees from time to time. Perfect compatibility is not possible, but sensibly working though incompatibility is. The difference between a happy couple and an unhappy couple is the way in which they handle their disagreements. Thus, in order to grow and be successful in our intimate relationships, we must adopt healthy coping strategies for dealing with our differences.”

7 Simple Ways to Deal With a Disagreement Effectively “In every relationship, personal or professional, there will always be some disagreement. You will never find an environment where people always agree and that understand each other. That’s fantasy, not reality. As a leadership coach I spend a lot of time working with my clients helping them deal with breakdowns in communication–and truly, a lot of disagreements amount to a breakdown in communication. Here are seven very simple but effective ways I’ve learned over the years for dealing productively with disagreement.”

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This week, we wrote about how total honesty makes for harmonious relationships. Here are some articles that delve into different aspects of this topic.

How To Be Honest And Build Trust In A Relationship “We hear a lot about honesty in relationships but what does that really mean? Do you have to share everything? And how do you share your truth so the other person listens and doesn’t become defensive? Today I’m teaching you my top three tips for being honest so you can build trust in a relationship.”

Why Honesty In Relationships Is Non-Negotiable & 7 Rules To Follow “Honesty is the quality of always speaking the truth and being totally authentic, straightforward, and transparent in our words and actions. It involves a few key practices: never lying, never hiding the truth, and never purposefully omitting or misdirecting people from the truth.”

Why Honesty Is So Important, According to a Relationship Expert “Radical honesty involves telling the truth no matter what, even if it’s uncomfortable or inconvenient. It essentially means not holding back anything you think or feel, Dr. Romanoff explains. Radical honesty can sometimes feel scary, because it requires you to speak your truth even when you’re sure your partner doesn’t want to hear it.”

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By Posted on Posted in Core Values, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating

This week, we wrote about why you need to know your core values. Here are some insights from others about this topic.

Surprising Superpowers of Knowing Your Core Values “Core values—such as “social justice,” “financial security,” “self-respect,” and “compassion”—are the foundation of a moral life, guiding you toward decisions that harmonize with worthwhile personal and social goals. Some describe these values-driven actions with the evocative phrase, “living your truth.” It is not surprising that defining your core values helps strengthen your conscience so that you are more likely to act in accordance with an ethical code of conduct.”

The Importance of Core Values (And How They Bring Meaning to Your Life) “You might be working a high-paying job but feel like you’re not spending your time meaningfully. Or leading a great team, but in a company you’re not proud to work for. Maybe you’re stuck in a relationship with someone who just isn’t quite right. On the surface, it might look like you’re living a life of fulfillment, but something is off. This isn’t unusual, and you’re not alone. Many of my clients come to me with these exact feelings. Although they should feel satisfied in their life, they somehow don’t.”

5 Reasons Why Personal Core Values are Important “As the saying goes, “If we don’t stand for something, we’ll fall for anything.” We all have a set of core values that are personal to us. They serve as guardrails that surround the framework of our lives and keep us from going too far away from those personal beliefs with the decisions we make. Moreover, having personal core values is essential to help us make intelligent choices that work in our favor. They are supported by our wants, needs, and strengths. “

By Posted on Posted in Peace, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating

This week, we wrote about how to create relationships where peace reigns, and the parallels between personal and world peace. Here are some articles on peace, plus the poem that inspired the blog.

What If We Ended War? “If you could push a button and end war on planet Earth, would you do it? How would a global farewell to arms change the planet, and how would we handle the realized dream of world peace?”

Is It a Problem That My Relationship Has No Problems? “Dear Therapist, My girlfriend and I have been dating for about ten months, and everything is going great. We are madly in love with each other, we cannot seem to find enough time to spend together, and we constantly shower each other with affection. By way of brief background, we are in our upper-30s and have each been in other long-term relationships that all involved some level of strife and all ended short of marriage. In contrast to our previous relationships, the two of us have not fought about anything and have had no significant disagreements. So how do we know whether we are going to be able to overcome the inevitable hardships of sharing a life together without having worked through smaller arguments as a dating couple?”

V’ahavta — this is the poem that so impressed Phil.