Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

By Posted on Posted in Peace, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating

This week, we wrote about how to create relationships where peace reigns, and the parallels between personal and world peace. Here are some articles on peace, plus the poem that inspired the blog.

What If We Ended War? “If you could push a button and end war on planet Earth, would you do it? How would a global farewell to arms change the planet, and how would we handle the realized dream of world peace?”

Is It a Problem That My Relationship Has No Problems? “Dear Therapist, My girlfriend and I have been dating for about ten months, and everything is going great. We are madly in love with each other, we cannot seem to find enough time to spend together, and we constantly shower each other with affection. By way of brief background, we are in our upper-30s and have each been in other long-term relationships that all involved some level of strife and all ended short of marriage. In contrast to our previous relationships, the two of us have not fought about anything and have had no significant disagreements. So how do we know whether we are going to be able to overcome the inevitable hardships of sharing a life together without having worked through smaller arguments as a dating couple?”

V’ahavta — this is the poem that so impressed Phil.

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In this week’s blog, we wrote about how to really listen and connect in your relationships. The closest articles we could find are about active listening; we’re describing a different attitude of pure receptivity.

The Art Of Active Listening And Its Impact On Relationships “Are you truly listening, or are you just waiting for your turn to speak? In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it’s easy to fall into the trap of passive listening. But what if I told you that there is an art to active listening that can transform your relationships? Active listening goes beyond simply hearing words; it involves fully engaging with another person, understanding their emotions, and validating their experiences. By mastering this art, you can deepen connections, foster empathy, and create a solid foundation of trust in your relationships.”

Being A Good Listener: Why It Matters In Your Relationship “Chances are that when your relationship was new, you had no problem listening to your significant other. You couldn’t wait to learn everything that you could about them, and it seemed like you could listen to them talk all night long. However, as your relationship continues to progress and the newness wears off, there’s a level of comfort in the relationship that can stop you from doing some of the things that you did before, like listening. Life gets busy, and it’s easy to spend time with your partner without really connecting with them or listening to them. However, good listening is vital if the relationship is to keep working. Here are some benefits to listening closely to your partner.”

The Importance of Art of Listening in a Relationship “Allowing oneself to be influenced is the essential starting point for open communication to occur; if you enter into a discussion with your partner and your goal is to have them change their opinion, you have entered a slippery slope toward conflict.”

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This week, our topic was goodwill, not just for the holidays, but all the time, and we were pleasantly surprised by the articles we found.

Goodwill Relationships “In its simplest form “goodwill” is “intending and extending good toward other people.” Dictionaries mention words like “friendly” and “benevolent.” On a basic level the term means that no harm is done; that is, there is no “ill-will” present. On a higher level the term involves the presence of a positive attitude with active assistance. Your intention is to feel goodwill toward others, and your behavior is to extend that goodwill to them in whatever way is available and appropriate.”

Relationships: The Power of Goodwill “Research into good marriages indicates that one of the most important choices healthy couples make is to have goodwill toward each other. This may seems like a simple requirement, yet many couples have anything but goodwill toward each other.”

Goodwill is the Fertile Soil That Allows Relationships to Thrive “If goodwill is low in a relationship, it is likely the result of not seeing the innocence of your partner’s low mood behavior. We think because we know what our partner is capable of when they are thinking clearly that they should be able to choose better behavior when they are in a low mood. We even hold ourselves accountable in this way too. It looks like we should all know better and be able to choose better rather than behave badly.”

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This week, we wrote about why little things like thank you are important in relationships. Here are some blog posts that delve into this topic and give many examples.

When It Comes to Love, Little Things Mean a Lot “We’ve heard it before but it’s true: It’s the little things that matter. In any genuine long-term loving relationship, we (correctly) give a greater romantic weight to the small gestures that show us evidence of love beyond the brief time spent in sex. There are those who specialize in one-off grand romantic gestures: giving diamonds, whisking their lover abroad, or taking them for lavish dinners at fancy restaurants. However, those actions mainly express a momentary mood and not enduring, profound love.”

The Little Things in Relationships That Matter the Most “When we think of love and happy relationships, it’s often the big occasions and grand gestures that come to mind. Celebrating occasions like birthdays and anniversaries with one’s partner can be fun and exciting. Performing grand romantic gestures like gifting them something expensive, whisking them off on holiday, or treating them to a fancy meal can surprise and delight them. However, in long-term relationships, it’s often the little things that matter most. The small, everyday acts of caring and the simple but sincere words of love and support can play a big part in ensuring happiness and well-being.”

Why the Little Things in a Relationship Mean Everything “Grand gestures of love can bring surprise and joy to your partner, but the little things in relationships may consistently strengthen your bond and increase emotional security. Would you prefer having your partner gift you a new car or show you one small act of affection and thoughtfulness daily? For many people, daily affirmations and acts of love and caring mean more than a singular, grand gesture. The little things in relationships can be constant reminders that your partner thinks of you and cares about you.”

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This week, our blog topic was why sharing is so important in your relationships. Here are three blogs that speak to different elements of this topic.

How Self-Disclosure Impacts Relationships “Building a successful relationship involves a mutual give-and-take between partners. Self-disclosure may be more limited in the early stages of a new relationship, but part of the reason people grow closer and more deeply involved is that they become progressively more open to sharing with their partner. In order to build a deep and trusting relationship, some level of self-disclosure is necessary and the more intimate the relationship, the deeper this disclosure tends to be.”

The Importance of Emotional Intimacy “Emotional Intimacy is important to a healthy relationship because it allows partners to feel safe and secure in connection. It allows for a greater level of communication and understanding. When Emotional Intimacy is present, partners are more likely to feel satisfied and fulfilled in their relationship. However, Emotional Intimacy is not something that comes easily to everyone. It takes time and effort to build trust and understand each other’s needs. It is important to be open and honest with each other and to make an effort to understand the other person’s perspective.”

How to Share Your Feelings “You’ll have heard me mention before that sharing connects us as humans and opens the door to receiving the love, support, and guidance we need to heal and thrive. Sharing your feelings helps to nurture the authenticity, trust, and open communication that are so important for healthy relationships.”

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