Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

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This week in our blog we suggested looking at the good as well as the bad and the ugly. None us us need to be reminded of the grim state of the world. Climate change, Covid-19 and now protests. Here are some articles to help with this.

Why Is Beauty Important to Us? “Humans have engaged with the concept of beauty for millennia, trying to define it while being defined by it. We asked a group of artists, scientists, writers and thinkers to answer this simple question: Why is beauty, however defined, so important in our lives? Here are their responses.”

5 Practices to Help You Thrive in Difficult Times “Thriving is our birthright. So now, more than ever, it’s critical to do what we can to build our capacity to be resilient. In times of great uncertainty, we must learn to navigate a parallel path that enables us to have wings in the air and feet on the ground. This means having the vision that enables us to see the beauty and compassion that’s unfolding around us so we don’t lose hope, while also staying grounded so we’re ready to take the actions necessary to manage whatever comes our way.”

To Control Your Life, Control What You Pay Attention To “One of the best insights on what true productivity means in the 21st century dates back to 1890. In his book The Principles of Psychology, Vol.1, William James wrote a simple statement that’s packed with meaning: “My experience is what I agree to attend to.” Your attention determines the experiences you have, and the experiences you have determine the life you live.”

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This week’s blog discussed how to hear what is being shared with you and the best way to respond. Here are some articles with other ideas on how to do this.

9 Ways to Be There for a Friend, Without Giving Advice “Some years after my decision to divorce, I thanked my parents for not pressuring me one way or the other on the “stay-or-go” issue. Making that hard decision myself really forced me to grow, I told them. My dad replied, “We knew there would be pain whether you got divorced or didn’t. And we knew you had to choose that pain for yourself.” That was the best advice I ever got—and it wasn’t exactly advice.”

How To Give Good Advice (By Giving No Advice At All) “Being understood and accepted is a fundamental element of the human condition and one of the most meaningful ways to feel this is by being listened to. While it might sound simple, properly listening to someone is a real art. What’s even harder than giving someone your full attention, is not putting yourself into their situation through unwanted advice. So, how do we provide support for the people in our lives and ensure they are feeling understood and accepted?”

Stop Trying to Fix Things, Just Listen! “Regardless of whether you’re a woman or a man, everyone needs both emotional support and practical help. Neither one is right or wrong, better or worse. The trick is knowing what is needed at any given moment and finding the right balance of listening and helping. Those are the hard things. But it’s possible for couples to find that balance using the skills of insight, mutuality, and emotion regulation.”

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In this week’s blog, we wrote about the dance of grief and joy we are all experiencing. It is important to be in touch with our feelings and to be present with them. This doesn’t mean we should wallow in our losses, but rather acknowledge the sadness and grief, while at the same time feeling the joy and beauty around us. Here are some other articles exploring other aspects of this.

That uncomfortable coronavirus feeling: It could be grief “Maybe you’re among the most fortunate in the coronavirus crisis — your loved ones are healthy and you’re sheltering at home. Yet you still feel emotionally bulldozed by the pandemic. Those feelings of uncertainty, helplessness and exhaustion may be grief…. But grief can come from the loss of anything we’re attached to deeply: the loss of economic stability, the loss of our ability to move around freely, the ability to participate in life’s milestones in person.”

Coronavirus Has Upended Our World. It’s OK To Grieve “The coronavirus pandemic sweeping the globe has not only left many anxious about life and death issues, it’s also left people struggling with a host of less obvious, existential losses as they heed stay-home warnings and wonder how bad all of this is going to get. To weather these uncertain times, it’s important to acknowledge and grieve lost routines, social connections, family structures and our sense of security — and then create new ways to move forward — says interfaith chaplain and trauma counselor, Terri Daniel.”

Balancing Grief and Joy in a Time of Uncertainty “‘Grief is love that has nowhere to go.’ Buddhist teacher Roshi Joan Halifax took our breaths away with truth as she shared this bit of wisdom she learned from one of her students in an Irresistible podcast episode titled, ‘Grief in a time of not knowing.’ For the past month and a half, I’ve been contemplating the role of collective grief in this global crisis with hesitant curiosity”

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In this week’s blog, we wrote about how to find mutual solutions and avoid conflict. Here is some more advice on doing just that.

Interpersonal Conflict and Effective Communication “Conflicts run all the way from minor, unimportant differences to disputes which can threaten the existence of a relationship. Conflicts with a loved one or a long-term friend are, of course, different from negotiating with someone who does not care about your needs, like a stranger or a salesperson. However, there is an underlying principle that underscores all successful conflict resolution. That is, both parties must view their conflict as a problem to be solved mutually so that both parties have the feeling of winning – or at least finding a solution which is acceptable to both. Each person must participate actively in the resolution and make an effort and commitment to find answers which are as fair as possible to both.”

More About Dissolving Conflict, Part Two of Two “Act as if he means well, especially if he appears not to — not for his sake, but for yours. The more you can look to someone else’s positive intent, the greater the likelihood you can respond to her comments before she adds more or elaborates. Follow this easy-to-remember four-step process when responding to criticism. Remember, it is never comfortable to hear negative comments, yet with this approach, you’ll increase your ease in the moment:” (P.S. The link to Part One is broken; find it here.)

Conflict Resolution Skills for Healthy Relationships “Conflict is a predictable part of virtually all relationships. It can also be a significant source of stress. Therefore, with most conflicts, it’s important to find a resolution. This seems like a statement of the obvious, but many people suppress their anger or just ‘go along to get along.’ Some think that by addressing a conflict, they are creating one, and simply keep quiet when upset. Unfortunately, this isn’t a healthy long-term strategy.”

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This week in our blog, we discussed how to handle changes in your life and relationships arising from the coronavirus. We found some good views on this, each one from a different perspective.

Our post-pandemic selves: why the virus is an opportunity to grow and develop “Without downplaying the tragedies of the current pandemic, Smith…observes ‘there is liberation in this suspension of more or less everything. Any fashion, sensibility, ideology, set of priorities, worldview or hobby that you acquired prior to March 2020, and that may have by then started to seem to you cumbersome, dull, inauthentic, a drag: you are no longer beholden to it,’ he writes. ‘You can cast it off entirely and no one will care; likely, no one will notice.'”

How will coronavirus change the world? “There are a number of possible futures, all dependent on how governments and society respond to coronavirus and its economic aftermath. Hopefully we will use this crisis to rebuild, produce something better and more humane. But we may slide into something worse. I think we can understand our situation – and what might lie in our future – by looking at other crises.”

Stress and Coping “The outbreak of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) may be stressful for people. Fear and anxiety about a disease can be overwhelming and cause strong emotions in adults and children. Coping with stress will make you, the people you care about, and your community stronger.”

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