Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

By Posted on Posted in Presence, Reading, Relationships

In this week’s blog, we looked at the stresses of living together during this time, and talked to a number of people about this. These articles cover various ways to deal with the situation.

Can Your Relationship Survive the Togetherness of a Pandemic? Here Are 11 Things Couples’ Therapists Recommend “Have you recently noticed how loud your partner chews? That her placement of items in the fridge is illogical? That his consumption of toilet paper/soap/the good snacks is remarkably high? That parenting is not one of his or her core strengths? If so, you might be married during a pandemic.”

The coronavirus lockdown could test your relationship. Here’s how to keep it intact (and even improve it) “If you’re both working from home, and with nowhere to go out to in the evenings, there’s a chance you might start to get on each other’s nerves. Perhaps it’s happening already. This is normal, particularly given the increased stress we’re all feeling right now. But since we could be in this predicament for a while yet, it’s worth taking steps to ensure we get through this period with our relationships intact. We might even be able to come out stronger.”

How the Coronavirus Can Damage Relationships “Death and financial upheaval are of course the primary concerns in the COVID-19 pandemic. But people aren’t the only targets of the virus—relationships can die too…. The first question is, what is happening? Is it that couples who would otherwise have remained happily married are torn apart by the extensive and enforced time together? Or is it that couples who would otherwise have eventually gotten divorced anyway are simply getting divorced sooner?”

By Posted on Posted in Love, Peace, Reading, Relationships Tagged with

In this week’s blog, we talked about time in the year of the virus. We’ve had to stretch in finding links, but here are some interesting perspectives on life in these times.

Ease and Flow in Uncertain Times “Who would ever have guessed that we would get a crash course in uncertainty? Well, here we are. A global pandemic, the health of everyone in the world at risk, including ourselves and our loved ones… Wow! One question on my mind is about how to meet the uncertainty we’re all facing. And there is a lot of it.”

Coronavirus Will Change the World Permanently. Here’s How. “A global, novel virus that keeps us contained in our homes—maybe for months—is already reorienting our relationship to government, to the outside world, even to each other. Some changes these experts expect to see in the coming months or years might feel unfamiliar or unsettling: Will nations stay closed? Will touch become taboo? What will become of restaurants? But crisis moments also present opportunity: more sophisticated and flexible use of technology, less polarization, a revived appreciation for the outdoors and life’s other simple pleasures.”

“Our new life of isolation”: 5 people across the world on staying inside to avoid Covid-19 “We spoke to people in five different countries: from China, where people in Wuhan have been living largely inside their homes for more than a month, to Singapore, where people are required to take their temperature before and after they leave school or work. People around the globe are taking the threat of this disease seriously. Here are their stories of enduring the outbreak.”

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This week, in our blog, we wrote about relationships in the year of the virus. Here are some articles with suggestions on how to deal with the stay-at-home orders and your relationships.

More conflict but more sex: Relationship advice for couples living together amid coronavirus “Many people are staying home to curb the spread of coronavirus. We’re working, exercising, educating little ones, and caring for our partners and other family members – all under one roof. This increased personal time can be stressful. How do you manage that, especially when you’re listening to dire news?”

Coronavirus: How To Ensure Your Relationships Survive Self-Isolation “Lots of people are now working from home full-time or looking after their children due to school closures – meaning we are all spending more time behind closed doors – but how will this impact our relationships?”

Quarantine can test any relationship. A couples therapist explains how to cope. “How are we going to make it through this coronavirus pandemic? That’s a question I’ve asked myself more than once since the Covid-19 pandemic created what amounts to a nationwide quarantine in the United States — and many other countries. My wife and I have a good, strong marriage, and we really do love spending time together. But being in the same apartment 24/7, with no obvious end in sight, makes it feel like there’s a storm rumbling on the horizon. Right now, we’re getting along famously. In a few weeks, that might be less true.”

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By Posted on Posted in Core Values, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with , ,

In this week’s blog, we discussed what factors are important in a conflict-free relationship. Here are two articles and a video discussing different aspects of this issue.

Trust In Relationship: Why Is It Important And How To Build It? “Trust is that foundation upon which your relationship can survive the hardest of times. In fact, without trust, you cannot sustain your relationship for a long time. Lack of trust is one of the reasons for relationships to fall apart. Here is why trust is the driving factor in relationships:”

To Understand Your Relationships, Try Understanding Yourself “To sum up, personality is not a quality that exists in isolation within any given individual. We project our own personality problems onto others, but also interpret the traits of other people in terms of our own preferences for the qualities of others. The next time you find yourself annoyed by your partner’s behavior, this study suggests you should truly ask ‘whether it’s you or me.'”

Mutuality matters with Kare Anderson (Youtube video) “We all want to use our talents to create something meaningful with our lives. But how to get started? (And … what if you’re shy?) Writer Kare Anderson shares her own story of chronic shyness, and how she opened up her world by helping other people use their own talents and passions. On this episode Kare shares her vision for a purposeful humanity and how to weave a culture based on mutuality into our current and dominant paradigm.”

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By Posted on Posted in Core Values, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating

In this week’s blog, we discussed core values, the third of a triumvirate of factors that bond people together. Here are three articles that discuss this from very different points of view.

Why Is Recognizing Needs and Values Important in Relationships? “Needs and values — the things we care about, the sources of our wants — matter because they are the contents of our core selves. They make up much of the terrain of our inner worlds…. Needs and values are indeed highly interconnected. There will be times, in your process of gaining deeper understanding of another person, when it won’t be important to distinguish whether you’re exploring a need or a value. But there is an important distinction between the two: needs tend to be very similar for all people, whereas values tend to be highly individualized.”

Shared Values Over Shared Interests: What’s Most Important in Relationships “… While I share that story to reveal that there are indeed, instances where opposites are attracted to each other, it’s important to also note that while individual interests might vary, for a relationship to last for the long-term, there have to be mutual, shared values. That means that one partner might love swing dancing, chick flicks and staying up late, while the other prefers action movies, watching baseball and going to bed early. Still, they should agree on the “big” stuff in life, like their future plans for children, where they want to live, and what they ultimately want.”

Are Relationships Workable When You Have Clashing Values? “I remember a few years ago I was in a relationship with a woman whom I loved deeply. The passion and feelings were there. They were strong. Yet, the relationship never felt right. In terms of our values, we were mismatched. While my heart was in it, my head was trying to pull me away. Our emotional connection was fierce, but we did not connect in some of the crucial areas of alignment.”