Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

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In this week’s blog, we discussed how to reconcile individuality and union in your relationships. Here are some insightful articles on that topic.

The Importance of Maintaining Your Individuality in Relationships “‘You complete me.’ Who doesn’t love this seminal line from Tom Cruise’s character in the movie Jerry McGuire? It melts the heart of any romantic and makes them long for a love like that. A union with their ‘missing piece’ – someone who makes them feel whole and complete. … However, this glamorous portrayal of true love gives us false expectations. While making certain compromises is necessary to make any partnership work, losing ourselves in the process isn’t. Escalating divorce rates of over 50% and infidelity rates of over 40% is a clear sign that we’re missing an essential piece of the relationship game.”

Giving in Relationships Without Losing Yourself or Sacrificing Your Needs “‘Relationships are about two individuals who maintain their own lives and create another one together.’ ~Unknown. … I have observed that I have a strong desire to merge with my partner because it feels blissful to be connected. I crave union, being one with the person who means most to me. … Relationships require a delicate balance between having clear boundaries and yet not becoming too closed off from the other person.”

How to Be With Someone But Still Be Yourself “Where do you end and where does your partner begin? … But that feeling of merging may contribute to you feeling like you’re losing your identity—or losing yourself in the relationship. When two become one, there’s beauty to that. A reciprocal relationship celebrates and encourages your unique sense of self within it. But that process usually doesn’t happen cleanly, and you may start to fear that your independent self will be annihilated.”

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In this week’s blog, we offered gratitude, peace and love for the new year. Here are three articles on those themes that are both practical and inspiring.

Love is the Way: The Universal Path to Peace, Happiness, and Enlightenment “But the word love has been greatly overused in modern times to mean everything from romantic attachment and attraction to the way you care for your family and friends, to something you have a passion for or even just something you really like. So the rest of this post is dedicated to clarifying exactly what this means (and making it crystal clear) and showing you clearly and simply how you can begin to truly live and apply this wisdom in your everyday life.”

The 11 Step Guide to Spreading Love “See your brothers and sisters all over the world as your extended family. We all intrinsically have one ultimate goal — to live in joy, love, and peace. Some have a strange way of showing it but they may be so lost in darkness that they have forgotten what radiance looks like. It is up to you to show them the light instead of judging or criticizing their path. Love is going to be the only solution to hatred, war, and destruction, not complaints and judgments.”

12 Powerful Gratitude Practices That Bring Joy “Gratitude didn’t come naturally to me. If there had been a championship for complaining, I would have been a serious contender. For years I felt entitled to everything, including the kindness of others. This didn’t make me very happy, since it was always easy to find something or someone to complain about. The more critical I grew, the less appealing life seemed and the worse I got on with others. … If I had continued living like that, I might have ended up complaining that water was too wet and the sky too blue.”

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In this week’s blog, we spoke about celebrating the holidays, appreciating the beauty and joy, and seeing challenges as opportunities. Here are some articles to support you in doing that.

7 Ways to Get Past Tough Situations Quickly “‘Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you respond to it.’ -Charles Swindoll. One day everything seems great in your world—maybe not perfect, but overall things are going to plan. And then something happens. You lose your job, or someone you love, or your home, or maybe even your health. It isn’t fair. You don’t deserve it. You didn’t see it coming. You didn’t plan for it. You have so many feelings and frustrations you don’t know what to do first, or if you want to do anything at all.”

How to Transform Challenges Into Opportunities for Growth “Challenges are an inevitable part of life. Whether it be challenging times, people or circumstances, most of us can relate to coming up against roadblocks in life that feel hard, unfair, or that can even be devastating at times. Some people face the most unthinkable tragedies and somehow come out the other side stronger. Others crumble under the weight of the pressure and heartache they face.”

Things to remember when life seems too hard “It is amazing the power that a good quote has to lift us up and carry us out of our dark places. A great quote shows us the truth of a situation and gets us to think about life from a different perspective. So we’ve dug up 22 of the best quotes to give you a bit of perspective for when life just seems too hard.”

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In this week’s blog, we asked why time for play is important in your relationship. These articles remind us of why it is so important.

The Benefits of Play for Adults “In our hectic, modern lives, many of us focus so heavily on work and family commitments that we never seem to have time for pure fun. Somewhere between childhood and adulthood, we’ve stopped playing. When we carve out some leisure time, we’re more likely to zone out in front of the TV or computer than engage in fun, rejuvenating play like we did as children. But just because we’re adults, that doesn’t mean we have to take ourselves so seriously and make life all about work. We all need to play.”

Adults need recess too. Here’s why you should make time to play. “When you think of playing, some memories from childhood most likely come to mind: digging for dinosaur bones in the sandbox, a game of tag at recess, spending hours with your toy of choice (whether it was a Barbie doll, a Hot Wheel’s car or a pile of Legos). But can you remember the last time you played? If you can’t, then you may be missing out on an important way to give your physical and mental health a boost.”

Choose a Partner You Can Be Playful With “As we grow older, more often than not, we are encouraged to subdue playful tendencies and to replace them with a more serious and professional air, as we strive to have it all figured out. We are discouraged from climbing trees, swinging on monkey bars, building sand castles, messily finger painting nonsensical artwork, or dancing freely when the music moves us. Our culture conditions us that publicly pursuing childlike activities may run the risk of appearing foolish or unprofessional. We are taught that you only dance when it is appropriate, like during dance classes, in a club, or at a wedding.”

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In this week’s blog, we wrote about why worrying about someone else does not help them. Here are some articles that tell you why.

Why Worrying Isn’t a Sign of Love “For my friend and millions of people like her, worry is a sign of love. It says that, even though I am okay, I am selfless enough to suffer vicariously for you. And isn’t that the definition of love? Wouldn’t it be uncaring not to feel terrible for others, given what some people have to deal with? At the risk of giving worriers everywhere nothing to do, the answer is no.”

Worry and Guilt: The Useless Emotions “Worry and guilt are opposite sides of a wooden nickel—two useless emotions facing different directions. Worry looks ahead, seeing threat and disaster at every turn. Guilt looks behind, imposing self-blame for perceived misfortunes and disappointments.”

Worrying Vs. Caring: Do You Know The Difference? “Most people would say that worrying is pointless and a waste of time and energy. I submit to you that it is actually harmful. Here’s why: Worry is fear-based. It is a projection of negative energy. Caring, on the other hand, is a projection of positive energy. When you care about situations or people, you’re hopeful that things will get better. When you worry about them, you’re afraid they won’t.”

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