We have a direct experience of a peaceful relationship, we’ve had it since our early days, and it has remained completely consistent. It is so different from our previous relationships that we feel compelled to write about it. Our message is that it exists, therefore it is possible.
Trust comes from openness and sharing, being interested in who the other person is, interacting without being defensive, wishing the best possible outcome for each other, and coming from love, not fear.
When you are in a conflict, stop, center yourself, breathe, and ask yourself what is important here. This pulls you into the present and gives you the opportunity to stop being reactive, and instead, choose a better way to respond.
It is a common belief that conflicts are inevitable even in the most loving of relationships, but when the underlying needs are examined, it is nearly always possible to find a mutual solution.
When you are in the present with another person, it is a palpable experience. You can strongly feel when someone is actually there with you, just as you can feel when they are not. Share your inner life with the other person for the best possible relationship.
The importance of letting people know you see and appreciate them carries into all encounters. You can make a person’s day just by saying thank you or smiling at them. It doesn’t take much effort and makes a world of difference.
The more you have the experience of peace, the living experience of it, the more you will be attracted to it. It is such an exquisite sensation that it’s very attractive. The more you experience it, the more you know the path to get to that place.
We show respect by the way we treat each other: by our tone of voice, our willingness to listen, to accept the inevitable differences of personality and behavior. We show it by our love and our kindness; by the empathy we feel and the warmth, safety and comfort we give.
There are multiple ways to solve a problem. Once you share the same values with someone, you can deal with decisions and disagreements without generating rancor, and by exploring, you can find a solution that works for both of you.
A close relationship is fundamentally different from others as it is built upon openness and honesty, both in sharing and accepting. This creates trust, which allows you to be more open, which creates more trust, and so on. When you are not actively creating conflict, you can actively create peace.