PHIL: When I grasp an idea, it can be like an epiphany. Several of my psychological understandings were like that. The first was reading “I’m OK, You’re OK” as a teenager. It was the first time I learned that we …
How Individuality and a Sense of “We” Can Coexist in a Relationship Read more »
PHIL: I wrote this reply to a comment on last week’s blog: I have for some time been fascinated with the idea that language is a recent addition to our understanding of the world and has been so successful that …
It’s Important to Look at Your Feelings and Find Words for Them Read more »
Every time we give a course on how to have harmonious peaceful relationships, we start by talking about core values and that always creates lots of conversation. Through our courses, we keep learning about different concerns people have in this …
Why it is Important to Learn What Your Core Values Are Read more »
MAUDE: We recently gave a course on creating harmonious peaceful relationships of all kinds, and afterward one of the participants shared a story with us on how she applied the concept of being on the same side to a difficult …
How it Helps to Remember You’re on the Same Side in Relationships Read more »
PHIL: Is your relationship a town with unsafe streets, no-go areas and places you might stumble and get hurt? We don’t live there. We simply don’t clash on things. It is totally improbable that we make the same choices time …
Why is Balance Important for Peaceful Relationships? Read more »
A central part of experiencing harmony and peace in relationships is understanding core values, knowing what yours are, and seeing that there are matches within your intimate relationships. It is also important to understand the connection between wants, needs and …
Why it is Important to Realize the Difference Between Wants, Needs and Values Read more »
PHIL: Listening. We think that if we hear all the words, we are listening, but what happens is that the words fire off all kinds of thoughts in our head – responses, word associations, old feelings – and this can …
The Importance of Learning How to Truly Listen in Your Relationships Read more »
PHIL: Maude posted a meme on Facebook: “Be loving today – you can be right tomorrow” that generated an unusually enthusiastic response. Why were people so taken with this attitude? Let’s first consider why we like to be right. We …
PHIL: Maude and I have taken compromise to mean giving something up in order to get something else – a form of trading that inevitably involves losses – but on a recent course we gave, one participant said “it’s OK …
Why a Positive Attitude is Important to Reach a Successful Compromise Read more »
PHIL: A New York Times opinion writer just wrote: I want to normalize significant periods of confusion, exhaustion, grief and unfulfillment in marriage. Tish Harrison Warren She referenced an earlier Times article: We need to swap the Romantic view for …
How Hard is it to Have Harmony in Your Relationships? Read more »