Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

By Posted on Posted in Peace, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with ,

This week, we wrote about how honesty leads to trust in your relationships. Here are three different articles on the importance of trust and how to create it.

Why Trust Matters in Your Relationship and How to Build It “To have trust in a relationship means that you feel a sense of security and loyalty with your partner. According to Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University, it’s the basis of a solid relationship. ‘To trust means to rely on another person because you feel safe with them and have confidence that they will not hurt or violate you. Trust is the foundation of relationships because it allows you to be vulnerable and open up to the person without having to defensively protect yourself.’”

Trust is one of the most important aspects of relationships “While trust is one of the most common words in the English language, it’s also commonly misunderstood. Trust may mean different things to different people—particularly across differences. Researcher and educator, Brené Brown, emphasizes the importance of breaking down the concept of trust into specific qualities and behaviors so that it can be more easily understood. Drawing from her extensive research, Brown offers the acronym BRAVING to share qualities that contribute to building and sustaining trust in relationships with partners, friends, family members and co-workers…”

Importance of Trust in a Relationship “It is trust that allows us to navigate the uncertain and complex world we live in today. With the rise of the internet, mobile phones, email, chat and social media, it is so much easier for people to connect or spend more time with co-workers than with family or significant others. Trust is integral to happy and fulfilling relationships in both our personal and professional lives. We require trust to develop over time to build successful and meaningful partnerships.”

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By Posted on Posted in Core Values, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with

This week, we wrote about making service a core value in your relationships. Here are some interesting articles on how to incorporate acts of service into your relationships.

Acts of Service Love Language Explained & Examples “The Acts of Service Love Language is all about showing love through actions. It’s not just about doing the laundry or making dinner – it’s about the intentionality behind those actions. It’s the idea of taking something off your partner’s to-do list, simply because you care. It’s about stepping up and taking the initiative to recognize and address your partner’s needs without being asked. This love language doesn’t prioritize grand gestures or expensive gifts. Rather, it emphasizes small, practical actions that simplify your partner’s life”

In Service to Each Other “I know that Ari loves me, and even when he is away from home traveling for business a lot, I know he loves me. But knowing that he loves me and experiencing his love are very different. We have worked out a method that has been good for us over the busy years of raising kids and raising our business. We choose a block of time, a few hours during the day on a weekend, or an entire evening, where we will not be disturbed by children or telephone, and we turn off all tech devices. We make a clear agreement to be in service to each other the entire time.”

The Importance of Supporting Each Other in a Relationship “Being supportive does not mean doing anything for your partner that makes us uncomfortable. It doesn’t also necessarily mean that we need to try and solve other people’s issues.  Part of being supportive is to be really present and a good listener, to not constantly stand in judgment and actually have a sincere and caring disposition. To really hear and understand what the other person is communicating and not allowing our own stuff to get in the way. When someone truly loves and supports you, they will challenge you, stand beside you when you need them and give you space to be yourself and grow as a person.”

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By Posted on Posted in Presence, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating

This week, we said why it’s important to be fully present in your relationships. Here are some thoughts to that topic.

The Quality All Healthy Relationships Share “Of course, emotional availability involves listening, but it also includes being in tune with your partner’s desires, wishes, and thoughts. Those who are emotionally available are predictable and stable in their emotional responses, validate your experience (even when they disagree with your stance), and take feedback in healthy ways. They also share their thoughts and feelings with you and don’t shy away from tough conversations. Gaslighting, dismissiveness, and manipulation are emotionally damaging behaviors that they don’t do.

How to Be More Emotionally Available in Your Relationships “To say a person is emotionally available means being present in a way that goes beyond physical proximity. It’s about being open to truly understand, empathize, and reciprocate the emotions of others,” explains Joel Frank, PsyD, clinical psychologist and owner, Duality Psychological Services. “It refers to our ability to share an emotional connection with others and to be open to receiving their emotions in return,” he adds.

Cultivating Intimacy and Communication through Mindfulness “Being present in a relationship means being fully engaged and attentive to your partner. This means setting aside distractions and focusing on the moment, paying attention to what your partner is saying, and actively listening to their thoughts and feelings. This type of presence helps to create an environment of open communication, trust, and understanding.”

By Posted on Posted in Peace, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with ,

This week, we wrote about how to experience peace in your relationships. Here is some advice from other writers on this important subject.

10 Ways to Have Peaceful, Loving Relationships “…this is not a post about romance. It’s about any relationship—with your brother, your mother, your coworker, or your friend. Relationships are not easy. They mirror everything we feel about ourselves. When you’ve had a bad day, the people around you seem difficult. When you’re not happy with yourself, your relationships seem to be lacking. If you’ve ever gotten in a fight only to find yourself wondering what you were really upset about, this post may help you.”

The Secret to Peaceful Relationships “There was a time when it was very easy for me to be disappointed by other people. I can’t tell you how many times I would feel angry or let down when someone failed to do what I wanted them to do or what they agreed they would do. I would sometimes be filled with strong, uncomfortable feelings in these situations. In addition, as you might imagine, this propensity brought friction into my friendships and other relationships as I even complained to these unwitting perpetrators that they shouldn’t have done what they did.”

The Secret to Peaceful Relationships “There was a time when it was very easy for me to be disappointed by other people. I can’t tell you how many times I would feel angry or let down when someone failed to do what I wanted them to do or what they agreed they would do. I would sometimes be filled with strong, uncomfortable feelings in these situations. In addition, as you might imagine, this propensity brought friction into my friendships and other relationships as I even complained to these unwitting perpetrators that they shouldn’t have done what they did.”

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By Posted on Posted in Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with , , ,

In this week’s blog we wrote about the three things that every person wants in their relationships: acceptance, appreciation and acknowledgement. Here is what other people have written about these, sometimes choosing slightly different A-words.

The 3As in Relationship Success: Acceptance, Appreciation, Acknowledgement “This is when being able to fully accept your lover is essential. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything they say, do, or believe. But you have to know that this is who they are. They are not you and for some people this can be upsetting. I know, hard to believe, but it is amazing how many people come into my office wanting me to change their partner — make them understand how incorrect they are in their beliefs and actions. This is non-acceptance at its highest form.”

How To Be An Adult in Relationships – Give The Five A’s of Love “It’s important to know that we never out grow the need to receive attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing.  Giving and receiving the Five A’s of love in your relationship with your significant other can not only bring you closer, but can reduce stress, anxiety, depression, and help fill the void created by childhood relationship trauma. Set an intention to give and receive these dimensions of love in your partnership, marriage or next dating relationship and see how this approach may help improve your relationship and how you feel.”

The 5 As of a Loving Relationship “Ask anyone to describe a loving relationship, and the answers you get will vary enormously. But some things pop up again and again. For David Richo in his book ‘How to be an Adult in Relationships’, there are five key elements that all healthy relationships need attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and allowing. I love discussing these with clients and exploring how each are showing up in their relationship.”

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