Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

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This week, we concluded our 5-part series by describing how to deal with decisions and disagreements in your relationship. Here are some writers who offer varying opinions on this issue.

How To Make Happier Joint Decisions With Your Partner (In 5 Easy Steps) “It’s time to reframe joint decision-making not as a negotiation or a compromise but, instead, as a whole new collaborated idea. Instead, you need to think of joint decisions as a triangle. Think of yourself and your partner as each being at one of the points at the base of the triangle, and your joint solution is actually the third point at the top of the triangle. Neither of you knows what this might be yet because you have to discuss options and ideas to get there. It’s an unknown quantity at first, and you’re working together to figure out what it is.”

The Art of Solving Relationship Problems “Unsettled problems are a major source of stress, stress that can not only undermine your relationship, but your diabetes management as well. Research has shown that successful relationships are not those that necessarily have fewer problems, but those that have found effective means of solving the problems that come up. Here is a 6-step process for tackling and solving those problems in your relationships.”

Learning to Make Joint Decisions “Learning to make joint decisions is an important part of any long-term romantic relationship. While decisions start small, with tonight’s supper, they get bigger, through the colour of the bathroom to whether to have children, how to manage childcare, and whether to move abroad to support one partner’s career, for example. Developing a reliable basis for decision-making and discussion will provide a good foundation for a long-lasting relationship.”

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This week, we continued our 5-part series with how to create peace instead of conflict in your relationships. Here are some writers discussing the issue of acceptance in relationships.

Creating a Resilient Relationship Through Acceptance ” Both self-acceptance and acceptance of our partner are connected; after all, how can we accept our partner and all their quirks if we can’t even accept our own? There are times when couples treat each other with such contempt, acting like enemies. In the midst of all this chaos, they forget they’re still on the same side of trying to create a harmonious life together. Couples get stuck in their pattern of hurting each other to the point that it creates such distance between them.”

5 Ways to Heal Your Relationship Through Acceptance “Working on accepting the many differences in your partner can be an emotionally beneficial exercise for both you and your partner. The practice of acceptance emancipates you from the stress and unhappiness of your futile efforts to change your partner. Once you relinquish trying to change or control your partner and accept your differences, not only will you feel relief, but your relationship will feel more peaceful and harmonious. Naturally, the concept of acceptance can be hard to come to terms with. For some people, it means giving up, complete inaction and/or enabling your partner’s differing choices, characteristics and behaviors. Yet, acceptance doesn’t have to be characterized that way. You can choose to define acceptance as a willingness to tolerate and even see the good in those behaviors you cannot change.”

The Power of Accepting your Relationship “It is often said that happiness comes from accepting our relationship. And most might agree that acceptance is necessary in relationships, BUT, the real question is: how do we get to that place of deepened acceptance in our relationship? This is a challenging topic. For some, acceptance may be a process over time while for others it may come a bit easier. Here are my thoughts on this challenging topic!”

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This week, we wrote about how to deal with differences in your relationships. Here are some articles on the topic of dealing with differences.

How To Navigate Your Differences in a Relationship “It’s not unusual to meet someone, fall for them and then begin to learn that there are certain topics of conversation that always end in a disagreement. After all, we’re all individuals, we can be similar in some ways while being different in others. Compatibility for life and a strong relationship doesn’t mean we need to think about or do everything in the same way. Instead, it means we complement each other, generally work well as a team, enjoy being together and more often than not our two halves are better than the whole.”

Relationship Tips: How to Handle Differences for a Successful Relationship “In a Wall Street Journal article, columnist Elizabeth Bernstein writes about the challenge of marriage between an ardent planner and a partner who prefers to be spontaneous. Perhaps you’ve known people in a marriage like that—or maybe you’re one of them! In my work with couples, I have heard many a planner call their spouse passive-aggressive or the spontaneous one refer to their spouse as a control freak.”

How to Navigate Differences in Your Relationship “But how do you know if a difference is more than something to seek counsel about, but is indeed a deal breaker? Because, the fact is, some are. Deal breakers are those differences that you anticipate will have a consistently divisive impact on your relationship. The two most important words in that sentence being “consistently divisive.” It’s impossible to grow together as a couple if your relationship lacks a foundation of unity.”

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This week, we wrote about how recognizing and celebrating uniqueness helps your relationships. Here are some different perspectives on the issue of uniqueness in relationships.

Is There Space For Both Personalities In Your Relationship? “Most couples do not understand or appreciate the differences in both partners’ personalities. As a result, they fight over trying to change each other, rather than leveraging each partner’s unique personality to build a strong and healthy relationship.”

Intimate communication through co-creating uniqueness “Dr John Stewart proposes that people can fulfil the deep human need for connection with others in dialogic conversations. At the heart of this process lies the concept of individual ‘uniqueness’. This can be co-constructed by the partners in dialogic conversation, as each takes turns sharing unique aspects of themselves and helping the uniqueness of the other to emerge. Getting to know the other person as a unique human being goes beyond empathy, and enables a sense of intimacy and an enriched relationship based on understanding individual differences.”

Embracing Uniqueness in Marriage: The Key to a Fulfilling Relationship “Marriage is a beautiful union of two individuals who come together to share their lives, dreams, and aspirations. While it’s a journey filled with love and companionship, it’s also a path paved with unique qualities, experiences, and perspectives that each partner brings into the relationship. In the world of marriage, no two people are identical, and therein lies the beauty of it all. Understanding and celebrating the uniqueness of each spouse can be the cornerstone of a happy and enduring marriage.”

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This week, we wrote about why core values are important in all your relationships. This is a subject that many people do not consider, and yet it is so vital to relationships. Here are some writers that have covered it.

Key values in a relationship: Why are they important? “What does “core values” mean? They are your moral North Star: a set of fundamental personal beliefs and principles that establish your standard of behavior and influence how you see the world. When living in the rosy glow of a new relationship, it can feel natural to let your needs slide a little or confuse affection for compatibility. But over time, if you and your new significant other(s) don’t share key values, the incongruity can become detrimental to your relationship.”

Understanding Your Core Values in Relationships (No They’re Not Your Common Interests) “One of the things that people are most confused about and that I get asked a lot of questions about, is the issue of ‘common interests’ and letting superficial things inadvertently get mixed in with your ‘core’ values. Over the past few days I’ve been talking about value and values in relationships, and in this post, I put a clear division between the nice to have stuff that doesn’t actually cause your relationship to endure unless you have the ‘core’ values covered off.”

6 Important Values in a Relationship to Look For “Our morals and values make up a key part of who we are. Values in a relationship are a key part of compatibility. Even though several factors go into finding the right person for you, finding someone who aligns with your morals and values in a relationship — that’s the real test. Our relationship’s core values affect everything from daily decision-making to long-term life plans. Making sure you’re on the same page in terms of core values will help you and your romantic partner build a fulfilling, healthy relationship.”

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